Monday, January 4, 2016


First off, it's important to note that today is a really good hair day. Ratted to highest heights, and lacquered like a hockey helmet. Which has empowered me to begin blogging again. Honestly, I am intimidated. That's what happens when you shirk your blog responsibilities for well over a year (or two). The creative juices that used to be your friend now ferment into rancid stomach acid and keep you awake at night.

I've tried to rationalize not writing. "Can't. Too hard," and "I've been sad," have dribbled from my lips for many months. Then, as I read my scriptures this morning, I noticed that a very wealthy family offered up all of their worldly possessions in exchange for a record of their people, and I was ashamed. For there is no record of my children or life experiences over the last few years, available for someone to buy at an inflated price. And let's face it—in a century or two, for sure there's going to be a bidding war on my memories. Even if it's only to destroy them.

And sure, these most recent years might have felt like a bucket of still warm feces to my face a good portion of the time. But there have also been tremendous joys. And nobody will know about them, because I kept them in my heart, certain I'd remember them forever because I intended to write them down in my children's baby books...just as soon as I got around to buying them. (how late is too late?)

I was a fool. What made me think I'd recall something that happened several years ago, if I can't even remember how to spell hoo?

So for time's sake, here is a Readers Digest version of the last few years: Spent a fair (huge) amount of time in my pajamas, cut the tags out of all of my shirts and sweaters (because they're scratchy, you guys. Not because they say X-large—everybody knows I'm not), bought some new towels, sent a son on a mission, got snagged by the Iranians in the mall skin-care kiosk, forgot to bring in the delivered milk every other week, pulled my achilles tendon, bought a purse, bought a purse, bought a purse, bought some shoes, bought a purse, bought a purse, went to Hawaii and spent most of the week in Sam's Club accumulating chocolate covered macadamias (culture), ran for office, resigned from office (long story), moved my parents into our home, piled my sewing room to the ceiling with, "Where does this go?" "I don't know—just put it in mom's sewing room," lived in a constant state of pucker lips and clenched jaw—don't know why, started dating Amazon Prime (we see each other every day—it's going really well) and finally, married off my first born son.

Whew! The purging is over and we can finally start fresh together! Now if you'll excuse me, I hear the siren song of a Ralph Lauren purse wailing at a pitch only I can hear. It's my job to shut it up and show people my hair.

LOVE YOU ALL, and look forward to many moons together.
The newlyweds, photo credit to the very talented Kara Elmore. You can find her on Instagram @kara_elmore


CP said...

Glad your BACK!

Jen Griffiths said...

Lisa you are a funny girl! Keep it up! I can't even figure out how to leave a message this is my second attempt. Lol. We miss you guys and are sorry we could not make the reception in (December)☃🌲 Can't wait to catch up sometime soon!

Rich Marker said...

Lisa, isn't it great to just purge your soul in writing! I am a closet writer and love your courage to actually throw it up (in my case) or down (in your case) on something like this blog that the world can read!

Wedding reception was great. Wish you and your family a terrific new year journeying to the Promised Land. Cheers and here is hoping that we pass by one another a time or two on the rocky wilderness path!

sandra said...

oh my heck you are the funniest young lady ever! You really could make a fortune writing books. I can always count on a laugh and a spiritual moment and a touching mother moment and a shopping moment! You truly capture the essence of life in your little . . . . . what's the word. .. . .um. . . in your little pen! (so many other funny words popped into my mind, but I chose a safe one!) So glad you are back!

Kim Lovell said...

I'm so glad we're friends- even if we differ greatly in the "sirens" that call to us. Glad you are writing again! xoxoxo

bethany said...

K, I don't even know you, or the person who shared your blog on facebook, but please! for the love of all mothers everywhere, keep writing. I've read 4 posts this morning and am laughing my arse off as my kids stand back wondering where their ever solemn mother has gone.

Pauline McClendon said...

Loved the Princess Lisa offering. Unclench.

Vern said...

Ohmigosh I just wrote my first blog post in over a year and half too! We're twins. I don't even know if I remember how to speak "blog" but I think I'm going to try. Welcome back!