Tuesday, July 19, 2011

DAMN BABIES

So Julia is here, talking to me. Even though she has a friend with her. Even though they're playing with yo-yos. Even though I'm wearing my computer face. None of those things seem to distract her from making sure I'm an integral part of her life.

"Hey, Mom. I just figured out what I want for Christmas. Oh my gosh! KeeLee got a NEON PINK RIP-STICK FOR HER BIRTHDAY! I TOTALLY WANTED ONE OF THOSE! Do you think I should put my hair in a ponytail? Mom, you really need to see me light this match. These are really good matches. You totally need to get more of these. Seriously, watch this! Did you see me do the Eiffel Tower trick? How 'bout Cat's Whiskers? I feel like my hair is shorter right now. Like about an inch. Here. Feel it. Does it feel shorter to you?"

Clearly, important and time sensitive issues. No way can those babies wait till later.

Speaking of babies, my sister's baby has started nibbling on her nipples with razor sharp incisors. Which takes me back to a moment in time that was seared like a branding iron into my young brain. I was at a family party, when I overheard my aunt speaking to the other mothers in the family. It went something like this:

"So he just kept biting me and biting me, every time I'd try to nurse him. Finally, he just bit a piece of my nipple right off! It was excruciating!"

'Really? Really, was it excruciating?' I mused in horror, while shielding my own flat chest in case that baby came at me. Well, I guess that sounds about right. And also it seemed like, to me anyway, a good reason to throw that damn baby away.

Yeah, so anyway, fast forward to my own children. One of which I had to stop nursing at 5 months, and another at 8 months, on account of them being repeat chew toy offenders.

But I kept those damn babies.

Which says an awful lot about a mother's love.

13 comments:

Kara Elmore said...

I think another reason God made these d babies soooooo da*n cute is because HE knew they would BITE And the only reason we don't beat them (accidentally - because HELLO that HURTS!!!!!) is BECAUSE they are cute.

I feel bad for ugly babies. They have no hope surviving the biting stage.

Julianna said...

Oldest stopped at 16 weeks. Just refused it one day. Wanted a bottle. So I pumped for another 2 months. No biting issue there.

Youngest NEVER nursed. refused it all together. I think maybe he thought these girls would suffocate him. :) So I pumped for 4 months for him.

And thank the lord I did, their teeth came in really early. :)

Krista said...

Babies can be dangerous. Lucky they are so cute, would we tolerate any other person on the planet biting our breasts, waking us up all night long and taking away our identity. Nay, I say.

Vern said...

See, it's stuff like this that the baby books don't address. "Don't throw baby away for biting off your nipple" is nowhere found in "What To Expect The First Year", and it might leave some women very confused. Glad you are here to square us all away.

Garden of Egan said...

OK, this made me laugh and had to read it to my coworkers in the ER.
You are OUT OF CONTROL!

Ya, I kept my damn babies too.
Ungrateful spawn.

ThE oLdHaM's said...

I'm a little nervous for when Cache does this...luckily he doesn't have any teeth yet. Knock on wood:) He's pretty cute though so I just might forgive him...we'll see!

Jackie said...

Why on earth would you keep nursing a baby who bites? FURGETTABOUTIT!

Speaking of damn babies...at least two of mine cried the ENTIRE DAY yesterday.

Which one would you like to take?

Mimi Sue said...

The things we do! We all deserve Mother of the Year awards for putting up with all they've done to us. It's payback time for my kids. They now have babies of their own. Mimi

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

oh I'm a tad embarrassed, I fed my youngest a bedtime feed until he was almost 3.

Cherie said...

Biting nipples, becoming teenagers...Yeah we all keep those damn babies!! ha ha

Garden of Egan said...

Speaking of one of your damn babies....ya, let's hook them up.
If your son is as gorgeous as you....with my damn baby girl....they'd make beautiful damn babies.

Stef said...

Oh, man. I remember those biters. And the rubbing and the chomping. I used to flick my children until my 3rd laughed when I did it. Yes, he didn't last long at the breast.

imbeingheldhostage said...

I had one that would bite, pull away (knocking the nursing cover off) and look at everyone in the room... everyone who would not even notice him because of the now exposed, sore breast wildly spraying milk.
Yeah, if I could keep that baby, everyone else should have to keep theirs.