Friday, December 30, 2011


YES! he is just as WICKED AWESOME as we all hoped he'd be. Even MORE handsome, MORE delightful and MORE spiritual than we dared dream.

And listen, folks, don't let's hate, okay? I mean, I'm sorry if YOUR son isn't getting up early to study scriptures and do the dishes that his brother was supposed to do, but never got around to, because he was busy rubbing his own bald head.

And I'm sorry if YOUR son doesn't speak lovingly to his sister, calling her "so cute," and "pretty little Jules," and all sorts of complimentary fluff, even when her own mother can't conjure up a favorable adjective in her behalf.

And I'm sorry if YOUR son doesn't call up the stairs, in reply to you asking who's down there and if they're still playing X-box, "It's me and Chris! Do you want us to come up now? No? Are you sure? Because we will!"

Yes, I'm sorry about all of that. But just because my son is PERFECT, well, it doesn't mean that your son is iMpeRfect...even though it's highly unlikely that your kid can even hold a melting candle in front of the glowing countenance that IS my son.

Anyway, I just wanted to confirm to you all, that from my loin has sprung a specimen of manhood that only the gods could expect to sproing. And he'll be heading up to school at juuuuust...preciiiiisely...the moment that the clock strikes twelve and we're left grasping at his shadow, holding the forsaken glass slipper, which will signal the end of the magic spell that allows us to view him through these rose colored glasses, ne'er to behold him farting or burping or itching his bum in public.

Which is just the way God intended it.

And oh! Hey! I got you something! A little belated, but thoughtful, just the same. Movie making at it's finest! Enjoy!


Natalie said...

I love this post!!! I totally remember my brothers coming home from their missions..they were so cool and NICE!!! It's wonderful to see them leave as boys and come back fine men of God!!

Garden of Egan said...

Oh that is so stinkin' awesome! I am feeling bad that I didn't see a cool picture of you with your mascara smeared face!

He is a handsome devil. You are blessed to have pushed through such awesome spawn!

Happy New Years.

Mimi Sue said...

Truly perfection! And excellent timing! You'll not be seeing him fall slowly back to earth. BUT they never fall all the way back to pre-mission. Thank goodness. How will he ever choose a mate since every girl will look shoddy compared to your perfection? Have a wonderful 2012! Mimi

.E. said...

so happy your perfect son is home.. will he be giving lessons? maybe write a self help book? for other sons? Enjoy your time with him.. and Happy New Year

♥●• İzdihër •●♥ said...

So touched after reading it.Happy for you .

happy 2012.

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Cherie said...

Aren't they awesome when they get home!! Love it!!
He is one handsome dude - definately going to break a few hearts!!
Congrats mama on that perfect specimen from your loins!!
Glad you had a great Christmas.

Happy New Year!!!

Stef said...

The bigger question is...does he have anything OTHER than his mission to speak of? That was my problem when I got was a little awkward.
But then again...he sounds much more pure than I was when I got home. Heck I was making out with my boyfriend the next day...wait...did I just say that out loud. Gulp. See, less perfect.

Vern said...

Fan-freakin'-tastic! And even though we've never met I feel like I captured the REAL contribution you made to the fruit of your loins in that video. Not so much all that perfect talk. No hard feelings. :)