I remember working up the courage to show my mother the permission slip~and I call her mother because she was the enemy that day. I folded it 18 times, whispered to Diana that I was "going in," set the receiver down and crept, sweating and trembling, into the living room. After a few panicky attempts, I finally hucked the paper square onto the newspaper she was reading and fled. I assume she read it, because she was there for the "Very Personally Yours" lecture and video.
Aqua booklet, black script, written in the 50's, but clearly meant to stand the test of time, because this was the 80's. Timeless advice like, "Not too hot!" regarding the temperature of your shower. Who KNEW what might happen should steam cover the mirror of a menstruating girl! And "Smile, sister, Smile!" when you check your reflection in your compact mirror, touching up your ruby red lipstick, but then are suddenly overcome by the poor fit of your girdle. Harsh realities, ladies. And yes, I've taken these things to heart over the years, smiling through my tears while I fix my bleeding red lipstick in the compact, shivering in my tepid bath. It really is the simple joys.
Anyway, my sister in law tried to prepare her twin daughters for the presentation. Appearing nonchalant, she told them the kinds of things they'd be discussing.
"You know, puberty and bras and periods and stuff. You know about periods, right?"
"Oh, sure. Yeah. Totally. Like, you know, the period of life we're in right now. Yeah, we know all about periods." heads nodding in self assured unison.
When she actually said the words, they ran screaming from the room~one even hid under the table, plugging shut her ear canals in the fetal position. "NOOOOOOO! AAAGGHHHH!! OOOOOO, THAT'S SO GROSS! DON'T TELL US! DON'T SAY IT ANYMORE! AAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Best part of that, my sister in law is pregnant. I suggested if she really wanted to have some fun, that she wait until the video was over, then pointing at her belly say, "So, now you know how I got this way, right? Me and Daddy...?" (eyebrow lift and head nod)
Long term damage.
As I said before, it really is the simple joys.