Thursday, February 3, 2011

I KILLED HIM

Me~"YAY! You got asked to Preference! When is it?"

Son~"Um, in February sometime. I'll find out."

(days pass)

Me~"Did you find out when the dance is? We need to get flowers ordered, your shirt and tie, etc."

Son~"No, but I'll find out. It's like, the twenty somethingth."

(more days pass)

Me~"Did you find out when the dance is yet?"

Son~"Oh, Yeah. No. But I know it's after Valentines."

(more days pass)

Me~"When is Preference?"
(more days pass)
"When is Preference?"
(and some more)
"When is Preference?"
(and even more)

Me~(demon voice, distorted facial features) "FIND OUT RIGHT. THIS. VERY. SECOND. WHEN. THE. DANCE. IS!"

Son~"Okay, okay. Hold on, I'll text Dallin."

Son~"Whoa. Wow. Okay. So, it's next Saturday. The 12th. So. Huh. I guess it's a good thing we found out before we left, so we could order the flowers before we—"

Me~"—WHAT? LEAVE TO DISNEY WORLD AND WON'T BE BACK UNTIL SATURDAY? THE 12TH?! IN FACT, OUR PLANE FLIES IN AT 7:40...PEE FREAKING EM! SO EVEN IF ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD, 9:00 THAT NIGHT IS THE EARLIEST YOU CAN BE HOME? IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY?"

Son~"BALLS! WHAT DO I DO?"



What did he do, you ask? He made a humiliating, penitent phone call and ruined the dance, that's what he did.



Then he brought her flowers, and apologized again.



And then I killed him.




31 comments:

McClendon said...

You did everything right.

Neen said...

So he's not going to Disney World because he's dead. Heck, he could have just stayed home and gone to the dance. Just a thought! HA!

T said...

oi. veh.

boys are a little clueless...

hopefully the young lady can ask someone who gets the concept of a calendar next time?

T said...

next time - let him stay home for the dance, I'd be happy to go to Disney with you instead :) I really need my Goofy fix.

Natalie said...

Oh. My. Heck!!!! So freaking funny!! Sorry, I know how you must kill him...it is the only thing to do. I can just imagine this taking place in your home. :) Thanks for making my day!! I have times like these to look forward to on my journey in parenthood.

Just a bed of roses said...

I was thinking the same thing...one less ticket to Disneyworld for dead son.

Freakin' teen boys!

Had you not followed through (demanded date)...you could easily come home to a house toilet papered, egged and whatever girls could think of doing.

You saved you home Lisa. That's what you did.

Lisa said...

Nat, still can't reply to you. Fix that, will you?

And if only we hadn't paid for his ticket to Disney, we probably would have said, "Stay home." I just felt bad for the girl~if he'd only found out RIGHT AFTER SHE ASKED, she would have had time to ask someone else. You live, you learn, you screw up some poor girl's dance experience.

imbeingheldhostage said...

He's on track-- for being a perfectly normal man ;-)
Have a great time at DW!!

Stef said...

He didn't. Boys don't get it, do they. Poor girlie! He should ask her to prom. Seriously!

Just a bed of roses said...

We still love him though.

Just a bed of roses said...

And...you know anyone of us would gladly, more than gladly take his place at DisneyWORLD. (so jealous). Go to Harry Potters first and wait that hour to go
through the castle, don't forget. And go into the narrow isled candy shop and get a chocolate frog. And...and...and...!
did I say jealous.

Garden of Egan said...

Balls?????????? Oh my heck!
I'd love to be a fly on your wall every stinkin' single day.

Except you'd probably smash me or spray me with a can of Raid or something.

So he totally seems like he's so normal.
Scary.

That was a nice thing for him to do....send her flowers and all.
Totally worth killing for really, and I'm pretty sure the judge would agree.

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

What is a preference? a dance for prefects?

I hope she liked the flowers.

Meredith said...

Oh man! That's rough. Poor kid and his date especially.

Cherie said...

Why do kids do those things to us poor moms?? I had to laugh having been in the situation a few times myself but you always feel sorry for the poor kid on the other end of the miscommunication. I'm glad he brought her flowers!!!

.E. said...

teenage boys.. omg..

Mimi Sue said...

Did you get that prozac precription yet? Got me through many a teenage tragedy. Have a great time at Disney World. Mimi

Holly said...

OH WOW!!! I'm glad you pressed him on it! Could you imagine if he didn't and just WASN'T THERE... WHEW!! So glad he didn't just text her or post it on her facebookv wall!! LOL!! See... He has SOME sense of decency!!

Well, since he's dead now, I'll go... Because I've learned from the BEST and am GIVING like that now!!

(((HUGS)))

Kate said...

Oh man. CRY! My little heart just sank for that girl. He better take her on an awesome date when all y'all get back. :(

Kara Elmore said...

PEE freaking EM?? hahahaha - why YES I did PEE upon reading that!!!!

And when he said BALLS?? Really????????? hahahahahahahahahaha!

But yes - that poor girl. It's a FREAKING good thing he bought her flowers. He needs to take her out on a date. Because she probably wants to slit her wrists. When I asked LANCE to preference my sophomore year and he DID NOT ANSWER me (jerk face!) I just about died!! DO YOU HEAR THAT LANCE - I'm Stillllll not over it!!! (well -yes I am because I'm married w/ 4 kids....)

So bless his heart. shooooot ........

The Martos Fudge said...

Oh my goodness, that is such boy thing... I can't wait for those days. I am sure they will come. Have a great time at Disney.

The Martos Fudge said...

Oh... and this weekend while I was in vacation, I thought of you and smiled. Because I was eating rabbit poop ice, and I loved it. I want a machine now.

Natalie said...

Christian (your brother) just told me that it looks like your son has a date for Sr. Cotillion. :)

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

*snort* *haw haw* He hem... sorry... a little. :D

P.S. I LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEDDDDDD your wonderful gift for my little girl!! Actually, so does Alayna. She thinks she gets the headband.
Truly, it was SO, SO nice of you to send it!

I think you moved up on my list of favorite people. :D

Rachel said...

this totally cracked me up. just plain awesome. i died over the "pee freaking em part." and definitely sounds like my brother and husband. their both new to the whole "find out when something is going to happen before it happens" thing.

Jackie said...

I hate this story. I hate that I am laughing at this story.

That jerk.

Anonymous said...

Sweet, now i know when to come rob your house!

Natalie said...

test

Anonymous said...

It's okay, Chris. It's no big deal. It's not like you forgot your anniversary. Or burned the house down. Or wrecked the car. Or killed someone. It's okay. In a hundred years most people will have forgotten all about it. You'll laugh about it when your my age. Nice going grandson. Great story. Love you.
Grandpa Wood
p.s. did I tell you about the time I cut out of 8th grade, got some dynamite and blew half the mountain down. Got me expelled for awhile :)

adriel, from the mommyhood memos said...

and THIS is one of the exact things that scare me about having a boy. *sigh* seriously???! i'd want to kill him too!

Lilian said...

I have five sons.
I can totally relate.
Son number 4 will enter high school next year.
I have hope.