Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Jules~"Mom, you said you'd never let me get colored hair, but then you let me get this feather. And that's just like colored hair." (smug grin)

Me~"No, I never said I wouldn't let you get colored hair. I said I wouldn't let you get lots of SHOCKING streaks of colored hair. And that's a feather, not blue hair." (busy reading a magazine)

Jules~"Nuh uh. It's just like colored hair. I never said I wanted to get a thousand pieces of colored hair. I only wanted one—just ONE red piece of hair. But you said it was 'worldly.' " (head bob and pursed lips)

Me~(putting magazine down and making eye contact) "Why exactly did you come in here? To start an argument? Do you, or do you not have a fun blue feather in your hair?" (ignoring the impulse to slap her)

Jules~(walks away)

Now am I missing something? Because from my point of view, the correct response was, "Thank you, dear Mother, for allowing me to not only live, but to do so in the manner to which I've become accustomed. Most especially, for supporting me in plugging a trendy, unnecessary and overpriced chicken feather into my skull. Life, as I know it, is good, and I have only you and your generosity to thank."

Instead, I opened the door to an 11 year old version of the fast talking, sweating, cleaning supply sales lady from the South who wants to use my bathroom, dropped off on my street by a white van.

In other words...not what I expected when I heard the knock.


Anonymous said...

FUNNY funny Jules!! But what I really want to know is...is that lady STILL in OUR neighborhood?? I'm ready to ignore ALL door knocks!!!Darn those white van dropper-offers!!! Grrrr....Anony :)

Garden of Egan said...

What I wanna know is why you suppressed the urge to slap?

K. Seriously. I totally understand the red hair thing.
I think you should let her do it. I'd rather have fake dye in my hair than something from a chicken's butt!

Natalie said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DYING with LAUGHTER!!! Only because I know your pain more than anyone else in the planet!! I am hoping that the girls don't see this feather...I know it will lead to more make-up, highlights, padded bras, and high heels. Not ready..still not ready. :) I'm pulling for ya, we are all in this together.

Cherie said...

OK both my girls are married and out of the house now but this conversation definately brought it all back - THE TEENAGE GIRL!!!
Ha Ha Kind of makes me laugh...now.

Julianna said...

Never Open the door.

It never ends well.


Holly said...

I feel your pain!! Hubby is totally against the whole dying/coloring... anything that isn't natural bit... Imagine how hard it was going through 2 girls going through beauty school!! Do you KNOW what THOSE girls DO to their HAIR??? LOL!! Amy got away with some pretty stripey highlights, though. Of course she asked forgiveness, not permission. HAHAHA!!

I feel like we're (Matt and I) are getting away with something for Halloween... we FINALLY got Rich to give in to letting us bleach him blonde... after we'll cut him short and it won't take long to go back to normal. He will be SO COOL! ;p (for about a WEEK...)