Tuesday, September 13, 2011


So a few friends decided to go to lunch, on account of I just discovered the DESSERT HEAVEN ON EARTH that calls itself "Kneaders." I hear they have soup and sandwiches, too. Beside the point. Anyway, I wanted to share the fatty love with as many chicks as I could, because I'm a giver—which goes without saying, and still, I continue to do so until you really get how benevolent I am.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Kneaders. Going there this weekend. So Deena goes all apeshit crazy and informs me that she has invited a friend of hers who has been led to believe that funny speaks as funny writes. And even though she promised not to ask me to say something amusing, I can already feel my nose and ears turning all precious gem, people, as the unspoken pressure turns the black coal that is Princess Lisa, into a diamond...or CZ. Whatever.

So I informed her that she just cursed me to wake up drooling, with one eye crossed and anal seepage. Plus she's dead to me. But that doesn't change the fact that some unsuspecting lass out there is expecting to meet the photoshopped, edited, two hours condensed into one paragraph copy of Princess Lisa.

Won't she be surprised (alarmed) when instead, she sees the placenta afterbirth, and has to hide her natural instinct to grimace and exclaim, "WHAT. IS. THAT?"

So now I can't go.

But I'm sending my facebook fraud profile picture in place. Just open up the computer and place a Diet Coke in front of her.

It's the least you can do. Deena. (two fingered eyeball point)


Vern said...

Hey now, from one fraud to another, I could always join you.

Kristina P. said...

I generally feel like I have to be a witty trained monkey when I meet people through blogging.

Deena Butler said...

HA! Lisa, I KNOW you'll be there. You know why? "Need-Hers" (AKA Kneaders) has a plethora of desserts. Here's my plug for chocolate: Chocolate is a healing balm. No really, get a little of that goodness mixed with some gluten and both of you will be as relaxed and whimsical as can be. Dead or alive, I'll be seeing YOU soon!

Cherie said...

1st KNEADERS is just plain AWESOME and delicious and cute. I love that place and they just opened one down the street from me a month ago - am I one freakin lucky chick or what!!

2nd you are hilarious!! It is very intimidating meeting blog friends.

Mimi Sue said...

I've met you and you're even better in person. 3D and you don't have to wear those dumb glasses. I've gained 5 lbs since Kneaders opened in Layton. I just can't help myself. Sad but true. Mimi

Holly said...

SO GLAD you brought my attention to this BLESS*ED (you have to read the intended pronunciation right here... LOL!) EVENT!!

1. I'd never even HEARD of Kneaders before. Thanks for the intro!
2. The food was truly YUMMY!!
3. I think I gained 5 lbs from the dessert case... yeah, that was just from LOOKING!! I was GOOD!! You're my WITNESS!!
4. Company was AWESOME... It was essentially the Syr 3rd Ward Blue and Shoe GROUPIES!! ;D
5. YOU are a beautiful lady inside and out!!
To know, know, know you...
is to love, love, love you...
LOL!! OH... the word is HIM?? Well, not in this case! Anyone that gets to know you can't help but love you!!

*verification word: munkless
??? Life would NOT be the same without MONK!!! My favorite quote of his "It's a blessing... and a curse" He's talking about his "GIFT" for detective work... I adopted it for bipolar. LOL!