Thursday, September 15, 2011

WHEN WE'RE HELPING, WE'RE HAPPY!

SUPERCALIFRAGILIPSTICK...wait, not lipstick...anyway, Mary Poppins! Went to see the play last night and the stadium seat could hardly contain my jivin' to the show tunes bum! You would not believe the set design, and Burt walking up the walls, and the singing and dancing and INCREDIBLE production quality! But even more entertaining was the lunatic family two rows ahead who nearly kilt their child for not shutting up.

Half an hour into the show, this kid starts using his outside voice. The older brother hisses and shushes at him from the seat next door. For like, five minutes. Dingbat takes it as a challenge and continues using outside voice, but takes it up a notch with body jerks. Two seats over, mother shoots laser beams through him with her crazy eyes. Brainless keeps it up, and third seat over joins into the fray. Soon, the entire row is SHUSHING THE HELL OUT OF THE KID, causing uproar and judgment calls in upper and lower mezzanines, and Jack Donkey just keeps. it. up.

Finally, the mother reaches across, grabs the kid in a Vulcan neck pinch and the kid falls to sleep. Unintentionally.

Just in time, too, because the audience was forming a line to take turns helping...if you can call a bat and duct tape helping.


I kind of think you can.


10 comments:

Deena Butler said...

Let me get this straight. There's a (socially acceptable) vulcan neck pinch that puts them to sleep instantly? That sure would come in handy at church. Did you get that mom's number? Sorry, I guess I'm missing the point...

Julianna said...

I thought that Vulcan pinch thing was just a myth.

Lisa... please for mothers everwhere... please post a "how to" post with instructions. Esp. ones that do not leave a bruise at the sight of pinching.

Pezlady Jana said...

ummm, thanks.....that was us.




JUST KIDDING!!!

Just a bed of roses said...

We're taking my mother there for her 80th birthday. That was her request.
I thought How easy is that for an 80th birthday...
Now your scarin' me Lisa.
But I would gladly help a mother do the neck pinch if the conditions become necessary.

Krista said...

How old was this little turd that needed to be squashed? A stranger really should have told him to shut up or they'll have him escorted out by the Mary Poppins' bouncers. I'm getting old and cranky and I probably would have said that.

Garden of Egan said...

I'm a bit surprised I didn't read about you on American's most Wanted.
There was probably no vulcan pinch at all. You probably used a tennis racket and knocked the little Jack Donkey senseless didn't ya?

Sounds like it might have been a good play .....

Holly said...

Oh WOW!! Too funny! Well... NOT if it was ME that had paid for the show that night...

Knowing that this Vulcan neck pinch is so effective, WTH took her so long?? I think this technique should be taught as a Relief Society Enrichment seminar!!

Cherie said...

Hilarious - especially the Vulcan neck pinch - I didn't know that really worked!!

I saw the posters for the show when we drove through Utah last weekend. If I would have known it was going to be THAT MUCH FUN we might have stayed!!

Vern said...

There's never a problem that a bat and a roll of duct tape can't fix.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Wow. I agree with other comments. I need the instructions. I'm spending a fortune in duct tape.