Wednesday, October 27, 2010

SECRETARIAL SKILLS

Well howdy, folks!

Lisa here, snacking on Twizzlers, Blow Pops and such, on account of trick or treating being the season, and me being an active participant. Trying my best to keep the recession from interfering with candy productivity. Because SOME people have cut back, I am being FORCED to increase my own personal consumption, in order to keep candy maker profits from going down the toilet. Just doin' my part, friends. Being the giver that I am.

Anyway, what else? Oh, hey. Did I mention I have a new calling in my church? I'm the Relief Society Secretary. UH HUH! THAT'S RIGHT. I SAID SECRETARY! Something they CLEARLY do not understand about Princess Lisa, is her complete ineptitude when it comes to all things technical, template and calendar.

Not that she can't, but more because she won't.

Oh, sure. She can type. And even attach pictures, with consistent tutoring from her teenage sons and a reminder post-it attached to every flat surface in her home. However, when they say things to me like, "Hey, you'll want to blind CC that newsletter before you send it out"~well, let's just say it turns to Klingon mid sentence. And I never learned Klingon, on account of no real world application. Or so I thought.

Last Sunday, the Primary President came into our class looking for a substitute teacher. I arose, fully committed to teaching 8 year olds for the next couple of hours, and it wasn't until the RS President grabbed my attention with her incredulous two fingered eyeball point, that I remembered I already HAD a job...and should actually be in another room at that very moment taking role...which I fully INTENDED TO DO, ANONY...just hadn't gotten around to it yet. But I was going to. Later. After everyone had gone home. Geez.

Anyway, I'd best be off. I have to get to graphing next month's calendar with my ruler and Sharpie~making a quick trip to Hobby Lobby for some seasonal stickers to decorate my mimeographed copies.

Because I'm cutting edge, people, that's why.

Jealous? Get your own secretary skills. These are taken.


14 comments:

Kara Elmore said...

And lest any of her peeps be confused .... please be aware that I have FULLY WITNESSED the severity of her HORRIBLE secretarial skills. When she called to inform me of the NEW CALLING (which was CLEARLY INSPIRED!!!!) I 1) LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY and 2) REMINDED her that she made her OWN handouts once (note the ONCE ...) and after I ripped her a new one left and right, I stopped what I was doing (because, I too, am a GIVER!) and took the burden on myself. Because we Wood girls can NOT give handouts that are less than amazing ... and that cost less than $2 each. She was trying to handout something that looked like PAC MAN. What the !@#$!

Get many more sharpies - you will need them. Better than that - I will come to your meetings with you and tell the pres not to worry ... I am here.

McClendon said...

Princess, You will be OK with Kara at your side.

Stef said...

Haha. Good luck with that. Being in the Relief Society Presidency is on my NOT to do list.
But I will join you in supporting THE man...the candy man that is. Trunk or treat last week...Carnival and door to door this week. It doesn't get much better.

Natalie said...

Totally laughing about Klingon! What's your problem, you don't know that language? I was raised on it! After all, I do have a cousin who named his daughter, Kaylar, after some alien or another from space.

But, do not fear, I have know idea how to do handouts either. So you are not alone in this big, computer savy world. I wish I could help you out there but your best bet is to stay with the talents of your wonderful sister, Kara. :)

T said...

I come from a Klingon speaking family - and yet I still have sticky notes covering the desk to remind me of the simplest things as well. I think I was adopted.

Handouts, shmandouts - aren't we old enough to write notes to ourselves on our hands if there's something we need to remember?

Holly said...

I did this in CA and I couldn't do it WITHOUT my computer. LOL!! I did EVERYTHING ON the COMPUTER!! Even my reports, posters & calendars. It's the ONLY place I can stay organized! HAH!!

You will do GREAT and just think of all the skills you will SHARPIE up! LOL!! ;D

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...

Matter of time before you are called in for your bad blogger influence again...

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha~TOTALLY inspired calling! Where else will I learn how to be creative on the computer but by my sweet friend and neighbor~PRINCESS LISA and her sharpie and post-it notes!!!

So glad to have you back in Relief Society!~Anony :)

ps......I carry post-it notes in my church bag. I'll pass you one on Sunday to remind you of your calling :)

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Why didn't you tell me you were looking for a secretarial job?

Love anonymous looking out for you, passing you a reminder and all.

Mimi Sue said...

You have a mimeograph machine? Awesome! Can I borrow it? Mimi

Kay said...

I love it!

reasonably chubby said...

Welcome to my world...it's called hell...:) Now that I'm a real estate assistant I've learned more cuss words than I thought humanly possible. Mostly because I've made up a hundred new ones. All I can say, is load up on the candy, it will get you through, and remind me again how to open a 'new document'?? :)

The Martos Fudge said...

You will be great at it. I in the other hand have never been to RS, so I would have no clue what is what... Secretary sounds like a fun calling. I have said over and over, I want to teach RS once a month, or ring the bell in between classes. But they insist in giving me callings that I have to do things. Have fun. I have full confidence in you.

Krista said...

This is where I tell you I am a FT secretary where I work and I was hired for my looks and not my skills. Keep that in mind, Princess, you are there for your looks, so keep your powder handy.