Thursday, January 27, 2011


Well, it is CLEAR to me that history is my favorite subject, dearhearts...because here I am repeating it—again and again and again. I'm hosting a double baby shower tomorrow. That's right. I said tomorrow. Guess what I've done? Here, let me make it easy for you and just spell it out...

*Bought some Easy Mac-n-cheese.
*Blew up seven of the 40 balloons. They're flooping around on the floor right now.
*Bought some cups.
*Don't need cups.
*Ordered 3 flat irons.
*They were on sale.
*Anybody need a flat iron?
*Finished up a bag of Cadbury mini-eggs...alone.
*Felt bad about myself.
*Read some Ensign articles.
*Felt better about myself.
*Farted up a storm. I'm Cadbury intolerant.
*Seriously considered cleaning out the back of my craft closet in the furthest corner of the house, you know, just in case someone says, "Hey, show me your craft closet. I will gauge your worth and my esteem for you by it's content and presentation."
*Closed the main bathroom door. It's contaminated. Somebody should take care of that before the 25-30 women with child bearing bladders show up.

And that's it, friends. Like they say, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Consider me doomed.


Garden of Egan said...

Oh wow!
That spells trouble with a capital TEE!

You could borrow some radioactive bags and strew them through the house, just say that your home was picked for an experiment.
They'll want to leave.
It works!

They wouldn't want those fetuses being exposed to nuclear fallout and stuff.

Taylor said...

OOO I need a flat iron!(:

T said...

I don't see the problem here...

you have two options:

1-frantically get it all done tomorrow and look like the most together person on the planet when you casually mention your craft closet to someone and then offer to show it off... spontaneously... and apologize that it's a little cluttered

2-develop a horrible case of something contagious and probably dangerous to unborn children - move the party to your neighbor's house and sit around eating Cadbury's while she stresses instead of you.

Cherie said...

Hire a decorator and go out to lunch!!

Holly said...

I like T's #2!!!

Awww, Honey... I'd'a helped you with those cadbury's!! You just let me know next time! (Not really, they're a little too rich... but if they're the mini ones... I'm SO IN!!!)

You know, hubby teases me about buying things we don't need because of a good sale! LOL!!

Yeah... we won't talk about all that's undone and not presentable around MY house... Your bathroom probably just needs the towels straightened... JK! I say make the KIDS do it!! (But if they're like the ones I have at home... that's worse than doing nothing and a whole lot more stressful...)

I'll be in SLC tomorrow, but I hope you have a good time in the end. You know, you can always say "Sorry things aren't perfect today... things have been crazy (don't have to say things means YOU... LOL!) and time just got away from me. If you're here to inspect, see ya' later... Here to have FUN... COME on IN!!" (OK... I could never really say all that... but I WISH I could!!)

Just a bed of roses said...

still unclear what a double baby shower is...I think you were going to explain to us, then you got sidetracked, your mind wandered to candy and unclean bathrooms.

Is it two showers in one day or are there two women with child coming all at once?

We all know it will be awesome, well as awesome as a baby shower can be.

Anonymous said...

Look on the positive side....your hair will look SPECTACULAR using 3 flat irons ;) Anony :)

Mimi Sue said...

Events at our houses are like childbirth, 5 months before labor begins it sounds like a darn good idea. The day before, not so much. I could come over and eat Cadbury eggs if you need any help. Mimi

Meredith said...

Yep! I would totally judge you by your craft closet! SO... get that taken care of A.S.A.P! lol

That's quite the undertaking... 2 baby showers! You're amazing! But, I'm not shocked. You'll be amazing and everyone will LOVE it I'm sure!

The Martos Fudge said...

Oh no I have that weakness, I LOVE to throw parties, especially baby showers. I am throwing one in 2 weeks. But before then, I have New Beginnings, and a family vacation to get out of the way. Yikes... I am sure I will be stressed out soon.

.E. said...

a flat iron for hair? or clothes?
and uhhh yeah have fun.. maybe if you just leave everything as is.. people will stop asking you to host baby showers.

Stef said...

It's a good thing you didn't clean out that closet....farting in close corners is not good. How long would it take for someone to find you if you lost consciousness....I guess they could follow the smell.
Good luck!!!

Sandra said...

Ordered THREE flat irons? Whatever for? I'm all about the flat iron, but three? You must have the bestest, straightest hair in the land!

aubrey said...

It's always good to have a spare. Right? And surely you know some tweeny bopper who would think you the coolest gift giver ever if you gifted them a flat iron.

Thanks for stopping by today!

aubrey said...

PS I totally use my flat iron for last minute clothes touch ups on Sunday morning... iron that button flap thingie or that stupid skirt hem lickety split.

Natalie said...

Shower was is everything you do. :)

Kara Elmore said...

Lisa failed to tell you all that *I* at least saved her from invitation DISASTER when she promptly said "ohhh don't worry - I have pac man ideas ... I'll do the invitations". That's kind of like me saying "OHhh don't worry ... you all can come to my teaspoon size house - YES all 40 of you! And lay your children on my carpet. It's rental carpet you know. SUPER clean." See the problem?!?!?! So I QUICKLY saved her and did the invitations. She really did nothing else. At all. Except clean weird places in her house and do dessert (even though she wasn't asked) and made darling little hand outs that were POLKA DOT (of course) and had POLKA DOT balloons on the front porch and wind thingies (what are those called) on her front door, and candles all through out her home, and flowers galore and valentine's decorations, and let us use her 100 something vintage plates ...annnnddddddd

See the problem: She hardly did a thing. Now ... why do we always have showers at HER house??? I wonder why? :) :) :)