Friday, November 26, 2010

BLACK FRIDAY

Me-"Hey, Mom. Let's make a quick run to Joanne's fabric. I know it's Black Friday, but it's later, and I'm sure the crowds are diminished by now. I'll pick you up in a few minutes."

Me-"Why are all these people draped across chairs, holding bolts of fabric? Half of them are dozing."

Mom-"I know. How weird. It's been a long day, so maybe they're just worn out."

Me-"Oh, good. Here's the fabric we wanted. I'll go pull the numbered ticket, so we can get through the line faster. (pull ticket) Our number is 47 and they're on 30. Geez. This is going to take a while."

Mom-"Well, let's just wander around for a few minutes while we wait." (20 minutes passes)

Mom-"Hey. What number did they just call? I think that was 52. Oh, crap! We missed our number!"

Me-"I'll run up and see if they'll let us in."

Angry cutter lady-"G54...G54!"

Me-"Oh, hey. I missed my nuh....wait, did you say G? Wait, so there are LETTERS, too? Letters mixed with numbers? So if mine says H47...abcdefgh...so, then, how many numbers are assigned to each letter? Are there like, another HUNDRED to go, before you make it around to H47? Is that what's going on here?"

(Angry villagers strewn about fabric cutting area give me a collective eyeball roll)

Random customer-"We've. been. here. for. two. hours. and. twen. tee. minutes."

Me-"HOLEEEEE HE.......COW, PEOPLE! ARE YOU SERIOUS? FOR WHAT, LIKE TEN BUCKS SAVINGS? ARE YOU...wow. (pulling pitchforks out of purses and flipping Bics to light torches) Wow. Okay. Good luck with that."


And we heard the faint cry as we screeched out of sight, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, NOW WHERE'S G59...G59!"


15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Two words....on-line! Well I guess it's just one word if you use the dash! Anony :)

Krista said...

So not worth saving $10. The psychiatrist's fee is higher than that. And the ambulance ride is so much more than that.

T said...

I figure my time during the day is worth about ten bucks an hour... my time when I should be sleeping is worth about 4 times that... so I'd better save a LOT if I'm going to stand in any line for two and a half hours.

Julianna said...

I didn't even know Joann's had a sale. What a lousy crafter I am. :)

Just a bed of roses said...

Pulling pitch forks out of purses and bic lighters for torches...Black Friday can bring out the little devil inside you!

Waiting to hear about the Feast on Thanksgiving.

Mine was tooo many pans, lots of noise, sick grandchildren. (my only complaints, not bad, not bad.)

next year I will meet any of you and my children at the Grand America, not kidding.

Natalie said...

And that my friend is why I refuse to go out shopping anywhere near "black friday". The Christmas spirit is shot to h@#% over just a couple of bucks savings!!!!

Stef said...

Yes. Last year I went with my mom...rediculous. Because not only do you have to wait to cut, then you have to wait to pay. SHeesh!

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

Uh. Glad I swore off sewing. Sort of.

cindy-stitches-n-stuff.blogspot.com said...

AWE, IT'S GREAT TO BE ME! I have never been interested in sales, and long lines, and lots of people.
I wasn't there. I was smart, I did all my christmas shopping in November. The last store I was at was Kholes, $305.00 purchase. (Did I say I was smart) well, after I bounced 5 small checks and coffed up @25.00 fee for each one and sat with my (darling) hubby and listened to his wrath, after all that, I relized that I had given Kholes the wrong card. Did I mention how smart I am?

Your the coolest!
big hugs
cindy@stitches

Matt and Kierstyn said...

online is such a blessing! :) I'm so greatful for my computer that keeps me away from all the crazy shopping.

Garden of Egan said...

At Joannes fabrics? Really? I didn't think there were that many crafters out there.
In fact I didn't think YOU would be in a store like that...being a Diva and all! ;}

Mimi Sue said...

For me black Friday is not about the sales. It is about making fun of all the crazy people fighting over the tacky $2.00 jammies! Oh wait, that was me! I'll be meeting Brenda at Grand America next year. Mimi

Sunshine said...

Oh my dear sweet Lisa-- you poor uneducated Black Friday Shopper--

Sigh--What am I going to do with you?

Every good Black Friday shopper knows that after 11 a.m. you stop shopping because the really lazy people come out and make the lines super duper crazy long...

Just sayin' :-}

Lara said...

Ha ha ha! if you don't want to wait in line you don't shop on Black Friday.

But I am slightly jealous that you even have a JoAnn's. Sigh. My only fabric choice is WalMart!

Holly said...

I didn't step foot outside on Black Friday this year... WAIT, that's a LIE!! I had to go get CHUBBY DOG when he couldn't get up the steps and WOULDN'T use the RAMP we built him... *sigh* ANYWAY... I WAS going to... but then... I JUST . COULDN'T . DO . IT! Hubby was SO HAPPY!!

So WHAT kind of deal did JoAnn's have that was THAT GOOD?? And what you said to the angry MOB... BAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA....!!!! SUCKERS! GOOD for YOU!! LOVE IT!! ONLINE!! If you don't mind having a bazillion oversized boxes cluttering your domain... It's the ONLY way!! ;D