As my friend and I sat caramelizing in the jacuzzi, we read the plaque on the wall that warned any pregnant women to shun this activity. And we laughed even as we were becoming light headed and nauseous, because we no longer heed medical warnings, on account of our wrinkly wombs and such. I also recalled the day that avoiding scalding hot tubs was as good as an announcement~
"Hey! You're only sticking your toes in. ARE YOU PREGNANT?" And we'd smile coyly, as the cat was out of the bag. Apparently the vomit dripping from our chin wasn't a strong enough indicator.
Which reminds me, did I ever tell you about the time I went visiting neighbor ladies with my Mother in law? Now, a quick descriptive of my dear MIL, Ramona~fiery red hair that she "dyed" until she "died". Blue eyes, pink nails, coral lipstick that never managed to stay within the confines of her mouth, and the sharpest tongue with the bluntest delivery. Which I know nothing about myself, so shut up.
So we were chatting with a young woman in our neighborhood, and she told us she was 'expecting'. Ramona said with delight, "Oh, how wonderful! Do you know what you're having?"
Woman~"Yes. I do." Long pause.
Ramona and me~Eyebrows raised in expectation.
Woman~Even longer pause. Initiates staring contest.
Ramona~"Well? Is it a boy or girl?"
Ramona~"I thought you said you knew what you were having."
Woman~"Well, I know what we're having. But we're not telling anyone else."
Ramona~with incredulous disbelief, laughed~"Well, hell, I don't really care WHAT you're having. I was just trying to make conversation!"
We were never asked to visit with her again. But we didn't care. She deserved it. She was stupid. And since I've never said or done anything stupid, thoughtless or insensitive in my entire life, I can cast that stone, people, as I am clearly without sin.
So what did you all do while I was in Park City? Never mind. I don't really care. I was just trying to make conversation. Now hand me that boulder, will ya?