Monday, November 1, 2010

PIE WITH CREAM

Dainty flower Jules...the fro sporting ostrich jockey.

Nothing says Halloween like a flash flood rainbow.

A chickencess...new Halloween concept in the process of patent.


Ahhhhhhh. That's me sighing with chocolate drool relief that it's officially November and we can now enjoy the harvest season without getting all tangled up amidst bloody corpses hanging from tarantula webs. Not that I don't enjoy that...about as much as pushing play on the answering machine and hearing a "reminder call" from my dentist.

But shouldn't it disturb us that we're entirely desensitized to melting faces and strewn body parts on front lawns? On the up side, I have filed away in my demented brain the most opportune time to murder you, as I can bury your body in full daylight while smiling and waving to the mail lady. (straight faced eyebrow lift)

Speaking of dead birds, I'm hosting THE FEAST this year. I've found it's the only way I can be trusted to perform household hygiene on an annual basis. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I must be compelled in all things. And if there is no reason for said yearly cleanse, well, you can expect oniony B.O. reeking from my kitchen's armpits and a few boil like zits popping up on the baseboards. And nothing says, "Oh my he%#, what IS that?" like a white head on a baseboard.

So just like all good intentions, I'm starting tomorrow.

Or next Monday.

Or the Wednesday night before THE FEAST.

Don't roll your eyes. You knew what I was when you picked me up, people.

Plus there's a tremendous satisfaction found in white head extraction.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes...

"WHO WANTS PUMPKIN PIE...WITH FRESH CREAM?"





7 comments:

T said...

drool... I love pumpkin pie...

and your flash flood picture looks SO much like the neighborhood where my kids were trick or treating while we visited with family. I stayed indoors because the rain makes me want to hurt people. true story.

Jackie said...

That flash flood picture is incredible. I love it so much. How pretty!

Garden of Egan said...

Good luck with the house-oscopy! I look forward to reading about all the nastiness that you find.

Sorry about hosting the feast this year.
Maybe you look forward to it.
Cooking.
Cleaning.
Cooking.
Cooking.

I'm working in the ER on the FEAST Day and I'm giddy with joy.
I only have to deal with blood and heart attacks.

Julianna said...

In 10 days we will be preforming a never before process of a complete bathroom transplant. It's very high tech, involving several sledge hammers, lots of tile and an 8 year old haz-mat crew chief. I'll be posting pics the whole way to document the process.

Did I mention this is our only bathroom? Another reason why we're going to my Mom's for The Feast. -J

The Martos Fudge said...

Rainbows are one of y favorite things. I love to see them anywhere, but that picture is amazing, how beautiful. You gave a brilliant idea with the murdering a burring someone, so good one more year with the MIL. You would hear so much about her if she didn't read my blog. But... it's our little secret. I don't like her.

Krista said...

Great pictures, Hencess Lisa! I have a number for a girl that cleans for $15/hour. So worth it! Except now I have to relieve her of her duties because I'm making my daughter my personal slave - again. I tripped on her shoes and broke my elbow a few years ago, now we're making her quit her job and work for us, 'cuz we won't make her work on Sundays. Back to you - love your filthy house analogies!

Holly said...

OMG!! The COSTUMES!! LOVE it!
Jules face reminds me of your boys, here... Must be the "I'm up to something" look! ;p
Ah YES! The RAINBOW!! ;D

WHAT? Your deep cleaning so EARLY??? My procrastination will be UP ALL NIGHT 2 in a row + making dinner, showering a half hour before everyone arrives so I can be dripping wet... AND a migraine soon following due to 16 grandchildren running and screaming through the house for a few hours... That about sums it up... ;p

Speaking of PIE!!!
"WHO wants PIE"
"Me"
"I DO!"
"Me, too!"
"Too bad we DON'T HAVE ANY!!!"
BAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Hubby and your DAD... TOO much alike at times!! LOL!