Friday, November 5, 2010

WHITE NOISE

Something is up with my TV signal, so I might as well blog. Not that I am addicted to staring vacuously at the mind numbing screen or anything. But maybe you are, which is sad. It's sad to me you spend your days yelling that, "IT'S JUST A JOLLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER! ARE THOSE POM POM BALLS DANGLING FROM THE TREE REALLY HURTING ANYONE? LET THE POOR WOMAN ALONE, STACY AND CLINTON! CRIMINY!" And it's sad to me that you know every verse of the CMT top 20, singing about your HillBilly Bone all loud, proud and oblivious at Gardner's Village, while loitering around ladies who lunch. And it's equally sad to me that you are probably still in your nightgown, unsure what to do with yourself, minus your early morning routine of falling back to sleep with the soothing lullaby of Mythbusters.

So sad for you.

Anyway, I have completed a few chores lately. First, I decorated for Thanksgiving, which means I also UNDECORATED for Halloween. No small task. Plus I finally noticed and threw away the last remaining "vomiting it's own innards" jack-o-lantern on the front porch that had become white noise to me.

But I was only on the fringe of the white trash neighborhood, as it's been LESS than a week, and I happen to know a woman who still has her pumpkin corpse on her front porch from HALLOWEEN, CIRCA 2009, PEOPLE! Course, it's now the size of a shriveled-up kumquat, so maybe she forgot it was once the majestic king of squashdom. (Suddenly, the word squash is cracking me up.)

And you know, maybe she's gone green, but doesn't know that shouldn't be taken so literally~as in green, moldy, rotting pulp staining her front walkway. So who am I to judge this woman who so obviously loves Mother Earth, and is just trying to feed the cement with all manner of fall harvest, as surely it gets hungry, too?

Anyway, where was I? Eh, never mind. I'll just end with a TGIF, even though those initials lost their thrill after I left (notice how I chose left rather than finished or graduated~here's a pencil~draw your own conclusion) college, as a MOTHER'S work is never done.

Course, sometimes it's never started.

Which could be why it's never done.

Touche.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I KNOW you are NOT talking about me, for my pumpkins were HEAVED into the garbage can on MONDAY. And I mean it when I say HEAVED as my youngest thought it would be AWESOME to pick the 100 pounder punkin at his grandpa's punkin patch. Once we got the guts out it weighed oh, about 97.9 pounds--which if you round up it comes out to be 100 pounds still. I had to make sure my bladder was empty BEFORE said HEAVING because you know what happens after you have a few kids and try to lift something heavy--the EXACT same thing that happens when you jump on the trampoline with those same kids!!!

Have a FABULOUS weekend! Love ya..ANONY :)

Sunshine said...

hum... my work is always done and I NEVER and I mean NEVER sit in front of the tube... never...ever... I just don't do that because, like, I'm super mom or something.

Oh, and I'm always dressed and ready for the day wearing my June Clever skirt at the crack of 5:00 am, thankyouverymuch!

Okay, so I lied... it's more like 5:05 or something in the 12... whatev', but my chores are always done.

Love ya lis!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Wow are you good or what...I AM still in my pajamas and hanging ornaments on trees and all that stuff you see in shop windows and tv.
Besides being exhausted with halloween and Christmas right next together with Thanksgiving in between.

Intuitive Lisa!

Must get dressed now because husband just called and wants to go to dinner...HIS VERSION of going out to dinner...Chuck a rama.
I couldn't even pretend to be excited because it's fish night, I could hardly say okay, goodbye.
No fight in me, cause of pumpkins, snowballs and glitter have taken it right out of me even after a nap!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

In my little dream world...I re-decorate everyones yards that I pass by.
sick I know. It's really hard on me, cause some need alot of attenting too, not just moldy pumpkins.

But one thing for sure their is no Jones's to keep up with in my neighborhood. (Just corn, hay, onions, cows,flies & a few stray cats).

I would trade you...for that moldy pumpkin house street.

Julianna said...

I prefer SHIT. "So happy it's Thursday" That never looses luster because, well, it's just fun to say. :)

Stef said...

I was so thrilled to come home last night at midnight to see that Hubs had not only removed the 5 squishy, took-a-leak-on-my-sidewalk Jack-o-lanterns, be had also sqirted th sidewalks down. I love this man.
Now, for that unfinished work...nah. I'll let him do it.

Natalie said...

Oh my heck! I cannot get over the lady still having her rotting pumpkin on her porch from 2009!!! That is absolute LAZINESS!!!!!!

Garden of Egan said...

Hey! I threw the punkin away today OKAY???? Sheesh don't get all judgey and everything.

I also like Thursday best.

I do think that you should be posting pictures of your Thanksgiving decor.

adriel, from the mommyhood memos said...

That sounds almost as fun as the Christmas tree burning ceremony my former boss has every year at the end of their cul-de-sac. New Years has never been so exciting.

The Martos Fudge said...

I still have my pumpkins, but we did not carve any this year. Cause you know, I was trying not to be the perfect mom and let everyone else catch up, (hum hum) so we used them as paper weight and bolling balls. Now I got to get up and throw something on top of my White G's and be productive. Since you know, you made me feel bad for walking around all day with the G's while doing well... Not much.

Holly said...

We carved ours for FHE the Monday before and and they were turning black and fuzzy inside BY Halloween! WTH??? Well... I'm SO GOOD that HUBBY promptly disposed of them the next day... I'm just diligent that way! HAH!! (I'm KEEPING HIM!)