Thursday, December 23, 2010

AMBIEN FOG

The floor is warm, the house is clean, the presents are wrapped and I'm about to settle down for a long Winter's nap. I tried to do some of that slumbery snore this morning, but was jarred awake in the wee hours by a worker man pounding on the front door. Ster forgot he was coming. In fact, so much slipped his mind, that about 3:00 AM, the poor dear decided he couldn't watch the clock one more second, and slipped himself a mickey~or half an Ambien~which I knew nothing of.

Ever hear what an Ambien is capable of doing? It's categorized as a "hypnotic sedative". A nurse I know took one and woke up on her trampoline. Go ahead and Google it. I'll wait......

....done? Okay, so that 3:00 AM decision? Mm hmm. Poor. Anyway, pound, pound, pound and I jump up, all heat miser hair, and morning musk whisper screaming,

"IS THAT SOMEONE AT THE DOOR? IS SOMEONE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE? STER! WHO IS IT? IS THERE A WORKER COMING TO FIX MORE STUFF? DEAR! WHAT'S GOING ON? DID YOU REMEMBER SOMEONE WAS COMING? HOW COME YOU'RE NOT UP? DO YOU KNOW WHO'S HERE? STERLING! STER!"

No answer.

He just lays there.

Like it's MY problem.

Then finally, crack head meanders out of bed, toodles around the bedroom for a few seconds, which is HOURS in "stranger pounding on your front door" time, then wanders leisurely into the bathroom to gather up some shorts to cover his bedhead bum.

Anyway, he just admitted tonight that he was in an Ambien fog that whole time, bless his heart.

I'm staging an intervention.


Look for us on TLC.

8 comments:

Just a bed of roses said...

Could have been Santa on Ambien...getting his nights all mixed up trying to get in.
I would have been shaking like a leaf all day over this one.

May Sterlings Christmas present to you be big and sparkly...he owes you right? You may need to prompt him incase the fog hasn't lifted.

Today is the official Mans day to shop...it's THEIR day everyone, funny thing, they know it's coming every year on the same exact day.

Jackie said...

I HAAAAAATE being awoken by the door.

It usually happens to me in the afternoon though.


Merry Christmas Lisa. Love you. A lot.

Holly said...

Oh FUNNY!! I've heard stories of some of these horror stories and told them that's not what I want to make me sleep. You know, mattresses are just too expensive to be worrying about PEEING it and not even having a CLUE!! LOL!! That happened to a friend of mine... EEEWWWW... WHO NEEDS SLEEP?? It's over rated! BAHAHA!! I'm glad he didn't go proselytizing in a bar naked on a table or anything. LOL!! You are TRULY BLESSED!!

WISHING YOU and your cut fam a WONDERFUL Christmas!! Thanks for always being such a support to me!

LOVE YOU!!

Anonymous said...

I remember hearing laughter during one of Ster's medicated sleep. Remember....at the DUNES...he was all "tangled up in his ipod cords"?! Nothing like hilarious laughter coming from the next-door-trailer-neighbors at midnight!!! Funny stuff...Merry Christmas sweet Lisa and I'm happy your floor is warm even if it cost you a pretty penny! Love ya...Anony :)

Mimi Sue said...

Hahahaha. Just a little tip for the day. 3 AM is not the time to take any kind of sleeping pill unless you have nothing to do the next day OR you're trying to kill yourself. You're welcome. Mimi

Sunshine said...

Seriously does he not remember who is sister is? Ambien is not goood--not good at all.

Good thing he didn't end up in Idaho. That would have been scary.

Kristina P. said...

We had a conversation this weekend, at my Christmas family dinner, about Ambien, and how people kill their spouses while on it, so that was really uplifting.

trouble sleeping said...

Ambien, the brand name product seemed to work better than the generics. I only take the generic, zolpidem once in a while. I have asked my doctor to prescribe Ambien CR to see if it will be more effective.