Or should I say "error dry".
Yes, it was a mistake, friends. Anyone with a teaspoon of hair has no business letting a light breeze be in charge. But I thought I deserved it. I was tired and decided to rebel against personal standards and good judgement. As soon as I realized what a miscalculation it was, I tried to remedy the situation. But that only made it tap its foot and roll it's hair eyeballs at me. I tried ponytails, bobby pins, chiffon scarves and heavy eye makeup. The tapping got even louder.
Sterling came home and Julia came home and Chris came home and Seth came home and not one of them looked me in the eye. They just kind of stared questioningly at what was hanging limp and feverish across my forehead. Eventually, I mentioned the elephant in the room, but not before it left a steaming pile of hair pooh, that everyone had tried to avoid. Finally, I just took my bra off and put my robe back on. It was clear I was going nowhere.
So what do we learn from this, people? That Satan is a filthy liar. That's right. Stay with me here~see, Satan is always screaming for us to be free! And the only way we can be free is to disobey...parents, religious leaders, commandments, laws, promptings from the spirit...Lucifer spouts off that they bring us down and we're being led like sheep.
Yeah, well, shut it, Satan. Because from what I experienced yesterday, obedience brings freedom, not fetters. I disobeyed my own principles and went rogue for the day, and look what it brought me...A BRA-LESS SHACKLING TO MY HOME, WITHOUT EVEN THE POWER TO REPLENISH MY DWINDLING CHOCOLATE STASH!
And Satan laughed.
So don't tell me that steaming elephant pooh hair is the way to live your life. It's not. We deserve much more than that.
And I will be the one to laugh at Satan, not the other way around!
Na, na, na na na! (sticking fingers in ears and tongue out) (Now I'm wiggling my bum at him. He hates that the most!)