Saturday, December 4, 2010

MOUTH EMISSIONS

Julia: "Mom, can I wear mascara today? Cuz my eyelashes are like, invisible."

Me: "Yup. Bring it to me. But only a little bit."

Julia: (brings me tube and leans in close) Ugh! OH MY GOSH, THIS IS THE WORST PART! I love how it looks, but I HATE HOW IT SMELLS!"

Me: (sniffing wand) What do you mean smells? (sniff, sniff) It just smells like mascara."

Julia: "Yeah! And mascara smells like ROTTEN EGG GAS! And STINKERS! Hold on, I have to hold my breath!" (sucks in lung full and leans back in for more application)

Me: (sniffing again) Rotten egg gas stinkers? You're crazy! I don't smell anythi......oh. Oh. OH! That's not the mascara, dear. That's me! That's my morning breath!


Seems every single time she asks me to apply mascara, her nose is downwind from my A.M. kisser. Apparently bums aren't the only things capable of emitting. 'Nuff said.



7 comments:

Holly said...

OH LISA!!! Too funny!! BAHAHAHA!!! Gotta' love that girl!! <3

Just a bed of roses said...

Chasing down my morning breath here at 7:00 a.m. with a cold diet coke...whew, it must of been the family Christmas party food last night!

Only you... Lisa, can pull off blog posts from your beautiful Christmas finds to stinky breath/bums.

The Martos Fudge said...

hhahaha, too cute.

Garden of Egan said...

HAHAHAHAHA.
Holy rotten gas egg stinkers.

I have some mascara, but I'm not letting you apply it!

Anonymous said...

hahah, i remember the SAME thing about my mom putting on mascara. for some reason she seemed to breathe heavier while concentrating on applying it.

Stef said...

Haha. That is hilarious. Now she is always going to associate morning breath with mascara like I do graham crackers with stinky diapers. Sigh.
Hey, I know the Merrils. Do you? They are in my ward. Great people, they are. SMall world it is. (Excuse the Yoda speak...4 boys.)

T said...

prehaps she'll start bringing you the tube of mascara and a pack of gum?