Saturday, December 11, 2010

DO YOU GET ME?

Hey, guess what's fun? Having your own blog! On account of you get to write your very own stuff! I know! So like, your own memories, your own experiences, your own feelings and even your own humor, filtered through your own personality prism. EVEN IF...now this is important...someone else doesn't "get it".

So like, I paint pictures with words the way I want you to see it, and use acronyms indiscriminately and embellish stories with ALL MANNER OF GLITTERY, SCATTERED PROFANITIES...and then, here's where you step in. YOU get to decide whether or not you want to read it. And guess what else? With such steely determination, you will find the offense you were after~with any number of stories, memories, experiences or humor. THUS, you are AS FREE AS A BIRD to fly away.

That's right.

FREE AS A BIRD.

It's called agency. Part of the plan.

And when I say "fly away," I mean click off the link, turn off the computer and climb back onto the phone to weep, wail and gnash your teeth while you speak ill of me to your kin.

And just one more FYI (another acronym I tossed in higgledy piggledy)~we know you dye your hair.

That's right, I said it. QUICK, HIDE THE GUN BEFORE THEY CAN SHOOT THE MESSENGER!

What? You're offended?

Well, look at that...now you "get me".


22 comments:

Lilian said...

That being said... I don't know you! I clicked on your blog once while reading your sister Kara's blog. And I immediately put you in my FAVORITES! Whether anyone else 'gets' you or not! I think you ROCK and I love reading your blog!! :-)

One day... I might just get to MEET you! That would rock too!

Lisa said...

AND SUDDENLY...I have a wonderful new friend. One more great thing about having a blog! :) Thank you, Lillian!

Sunshine said...

Dearest Lisa,

May I take a small moment to address the peeps that don't "get" you:

"I (and Lisa and all her REAL fans) fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. "

So there! neener neener neener! I heart my auntie!

Natalie said...

Oh, Lisa!!! So well said! May that "person" read this and think..."maybe at my age, I should not be acting like I am in Jr. High"

I love all your thoughts/memories/stories. Remember you can't please them all...to bad they wont just look away, like you said. Cause the rest of us LOVE IT!!!!!!

Mandy said...

You're so AWESOME!

Holly said...

I TOTALLY "GET" you!! You ROCK!!

Some people need to stop starching their shirts so stiff and lighten up!

MY message to the ignorant readers that don't know how to just exit something they don't like... GET A LIFE!! No one MADE YOU COME... Let the rest of us BASK in the sparkly spotlight that shines on LISA! ;p

LOVE YOU, LISA!! (((HUGS)))

Just a bed of roses said...

I really need a seat belt on when I come over to read your blog, I am so afraid of breaking my arm falling off this chair laughing all the way!

NO ONE has the creative ability with words like you...well, Kera does, but this isn't about her right now.

Lisa, I go through this daily at the shop... this week especially, something about "tis the season."
only I get to have it RIGHT TO MY FACE! Let's see...this week it was something to the fact that I was not so righteous because I refuse to walk through some shop owners door (cough cough cough) And let's see... it's THEIR righteous duty to inform me that one of my fav. customers shops that store too. (so what, why would I care?) And another customer felt it was HER RIGHTEOUS DUTY to inform right in front of me to my new sales rep that SHE MUST go to this shop and sell to her also!
I kept my hands in my pockets least they put me in prison.

So if your not getting it RIGHT TO YOUR FACE LISA...then that person can't be as SELF RIGHTEOUS as they think.
just sayin'

It's called SOMEONES RIGHTEOUS DUTY...and may their blog and shop be better than ours.

THEY can ONLY try.
amen sister.

The Martos Fudge said...

You said WHAT??!! you mean there are people out there who are so dry that they don't get you humorous, sarcastic, say it like it is attitude? Well, I am sorry, Life must be boring in their beige house, with their, white cars, and their beige outfits, with their (you get me right?) I LOVE YOUR BLOG, and I don't even know you... But I know I can count on always laughing my @$$ off when I come, and I get something good and useful out of it too. KEEP on writing Sistah...

SJ said...

Amen Sista! And, BTW...if they are a member, they need some LDS 101 again! ;-) I Love reading your funnies!

Lisa said...

Okay, you know what? YOU'RE ALL MY PEEPS! I'm giving you blog heart pounds and finger kisses.

Garden of Egan said...

You totally make sense to me. I mean really, right down to the roots and the little brown bubbles that are consumed hourly.

You rock. Really.
I totally want to be like you when I grown up.........even though I'm older than Moses.

Really, and there is nothing better than being able to spew forth to your hearts content. Verbal vomit with pink puffy uniforn farts and glitter.

Yes, part of The Plan is the ability to walk away..........but there's something about you that makes it totally impossible to walk away.

The Damsel in Dis Dress said...

Drat, those overachiever blog post replyers already said what I was going to say.

I get you, even if I'm late.

Julianna said...

Not only do I get you... I'm stalking you right now. (Seriously, go do somthing with your hair) Kidding. Maybe. :)

Mimi Sue said...

You write what every one else thinks. If that's wrong I don't wanna be right. You are a little bright spot in a cold and dreary planet. The older I get the more I know that you have to be true to yourself. And you are one in a million. Mimi

Just a bed of roses said...

Now that I've had time to get over my public tantrum...the best thing you said was "it's part of the plan, we have our own agency".

write on...

Stef said...

Haha. I love your blog. I love being insulted. I love it! That's why I don't get why people who are offended by our rantings come back for more...really?
You are so funny and I love reading your blog...all the time. Always a good laugh to be had!!

Salt H2O said...

Well put.

Just a bed of roses said...

Oh, and one thing more...have you ever had Gephardt threatened on you...if not, you have NOT pushed THE WORDS you use too far Lisa.

It could get you on TV!
just sayin'

Blueandshoe on TV
might be fun.

reasonably chubby said...

Darling, of course I 'get you'. I am you...lol! And yes, I do color my hair because otherwise I'd look like an eighty year old hag.

Anonymous said...

Don't ever change - you give me my LOL in the morning!!! Christy F.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Hah! I got you! I DON'T dye my hair (but maybe I should-- maybe you were HINTING...)

;-)

Kara Elmore said...

OHH this is THEEEE best! Absolutely wonderfully said. Proud. Proud that you said what needed to be said!

PS - tried to think of something funny ... but on account of me taking care of my surprise child that was born last night at 10:22 I am EXHAUSTED!

:)