Hard to talk, friends. Hard to type. Hard to sit. Hard to breathe. On account of my stupid Grinch jeans. No giving Christmas spirit WHAT.SO.EVER!
Seems their stupid stingy heart isn't the only thing two sizes too small. And here I am, trying to embrace the season by letting MY heart...and some other stuff...grow even MORE ENORMOUS, because of my giving nature and such. In fact, I put a magnifying glass to my belly, and what do you know? IT BUSTED RIGHT THROUGH THE FRAMEWORK, JUST LIKE WHEN THE GRINCH GETS THE SPIRIT! SO FUN!
So I'm just carrying on special holiday traditions, you know? And hopefully, my example will be a light on the hill for grinchy denim everywhere, so that we can one day see them wrapped all festive and generous, around GIGANTIC BULGING BUMS, as they understand what Christmas is all about.
And then they'll get their own animated Christmas special.