Wednesday, December 15, 2010

THE GRINCH

Hard to talk, friends. Hard to type. Hard to sit. Hard to breathe. On account of my stupid Grinch jeans. No giving Christmas spirit WHAT.SO.EVER!

Seems their stupid stingy heart isn't the only thing two sizes too small. And here I am, trying to embrace the season by letting MY heart...and some other stuff...grow even MORE ENORMOUS, because of my giving nature and such. In fact, I put a magnifying glass to my belly, and what do you know? IT BUSTED RIGHT THROUGH THE FRAMEWORK, JUST LIKE WHEN THE GRINCH GETS THE SPIRIT! SO FUN!

So I'm just carrying on special holiday traditions, you know? And hopefully, my example will be a light on the hill for grinchy denim everywhere, so that we can one day see them wrapped all festive and generous, around GIGANTIC BULGING BUMS, as they understand what Christmas is all about.

And then they'll get their own animated Christmas special.

A classic.



12 comments:

Just a bed of roses said...

Must ask santa for Grinchy denim, thanks for the idea.

Mom Alley said...

You made me smile even though my throat is killing me. I got Grinchy denim last year. :)

The Martos Fudge said...

I so would be in Grinchy denim, but the elastic band is whats working lately. But for sure next year.

Julianna said...

Now that's a christmas special I'd tune in for every year. :)

Garden of Egan said...

I can just hear Burl Ives relating the story now.

"and her pants were too sizes too small. She ate tinklers and twizzlers and blobbies and cookers"

Ya it is a classic. I almost want to weep.

It's call sweat pants sweetie!

Kate said...

I was just over here wondering, do these jeans make my butt look big?

Holly said...

LOL!! Mine bulge in the front and the back... *sigh*

What a classic cult following that special would have. Almost as good as Princess Bride or Star Trek!

(((HUGS)))

reasonably chubby said...

Damn jeans.True Christmas spirit is found in only one place...stretchy spandex. :) Ahhhh, bring on the fudge..

T said...

LOVE it, seriously!!!!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

I put on some non-maternity jeans that fir two weeks ago? Yah, total bubble butt going on. It was depressing. I could blame it on pregnancy except that deep down, I know it's the five pounds of chocolate I've consumed in that time.

Stef said...

I think that I could play the lead role in that film. Eek!

Mimi Sue said...

Truly a classic! Let me know when it's on TV. I think everyone needs expandomatic pants in December. Eat now, diet later. That's what January is for. Mimi