Monday, November 9, 2009


I made homemade caramels today...again. Now do you see? Do you see how worried you should be when you leave me alone for a few hours with a pantry containing packages of fat and sugar? Seriously, folks, I cannot be trusted. I've mentioned this before, but now it's really critical, because accidentally, I just figured out how to make them (caramels) without the butter separating from the rest of the ingredients. And you know, when you do something well, you're supposed to let your light shine, people~it even says so in the scriptures. LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE! So I HAVE to.

Because I'm a Christian.

So, hey, if I'm just trying to be a light on a hill and not hide it under a bushel, I'm simply following the teachings of Jesus, right? It's a talent, and we're supposed to be good stewards over these talents, so that we can get even more~and you guys know I'm kind of a hoarder and greedy, which means I want "ADDITIONAL" of everything...including talents. And probably Heavenly Father will bless me for being so righteous and making caramels~or sharing my talents as we've come to realize~by somehow altering the chemical makeup of the ingredients and rearranging it to have a "negative calorie" effect.

You know, the way Diet Coke works when it's eaten with a candy bar.


And everyone knows He's the best scientist in the Universe, and the elements obey Him, which seems to be working in my favor with this whole caramel thing.

So...just to be clear...that must mean that I will most likely get thinner because I'm following Jesus!


Just like me, as I continue to let my light shine in making (and eating) caramels, because I want to be just like Him.

And I want to be thin.

And apparently, this is the only way it can be done.


kara elmore said...

These are my thoughts ... if someone is feeling the need to become thinner, they should read this blog? WHY, you ask? Because I have found that when you are sitting at your computer, ignoring your kids (like I NEVER do while on the computer. And if YOU do, then you can't multi-task, like ME!) and you find yourself reading this over and over and over again ... you start to do the, what we affectionately call it, the UGLY laugh. Not the ugly cry .. the ugly laugh. Where you laugh SO hard that your face contorts into unpretty things. So you cover your mouth, so they don't see your bridge that was unprettily put in your 16 year old mouth, and they don't see your crooked nose when you laugh. And then you CONTINUE to laugh so hard that you can't breathe! But MEANWHILE you found a way to multi task and EAT MORE CANDY! Then... you read Lisa's SMALL PRINT (small print) and it's even MORE funny than the paragraph before. But by now you've inhaled the said candy and it is NOW lodged in the pipe it shouldn't be. But you CONTINUE laughing. So you accidentally barf.

See - you want to get thinner ... read the blog. You want to be a better Christian??? Find more talents like creating sugar infested treats and taking them to neighbors.

Problems of the world SOLVED allllll through LISA!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

These wonderfully sculpted, sugar infested treats were NOT shared with your BESTEST neighbor EVER! Therefore, YOU apparently HID under the bushel eating these treats because I didn't see a light shining on the hill :/

NOW is the time to repent because I need to be THINNER too!!!

Lisa said...

Boo, I love it! And thank you for giving me something to look at when I check the comment section. You're not allowed to go play with your friends anymore...unless you bring your laptop and ALL of you comment.

Anony~(that's kind of a fun nickname)~they're coming, ma'am! And I did kind of hide under my bushel eating them. And then I started to get a little nauseated, because apparently a body can only hold so much fat and sugar inside until it wants to go back outside. So I'm sending them over now. They're only for you, though. Don't show your kids. They can eat the leftover candy corns from Halloween. See how thoughtful I am?

lexa Jean said...

Hmmmm does eating the carmels count as a service act? Not that they would be bad, but helping them not go to waste, you see this time of year we get all this candy and what not, and we save "the good stuff" (like lisa's carmels) so we can "have them later." or we hide them so no other family members can find them.... With me this is a problem. I love them so much that I stash them away like a squirl so I can cherish them all year long, and then I forget, and all of that beautiful service went to waste! I guess this proves eat them ALL when you get them!

Thanks for your funny thoughts! I love them.

kara elmore said...

I'm upset that didn't write again today. REMEMBER I live for these ..... if you don't write - I die!!!

Lisa said...

Lexa, cherishing is good. It's almost like "charity" since they both start with "ch" and everyone knows that charity is the pure love of Christ. So I think you're just expressing that very noble trait. Plus, if you just hide them in a drawer rather than under a bushel, you're fine. :)