Friday, November 20, 2009

MARY

Back to that "aimless wandering" that I'm so fond of. How is it that I find myself in front of the library computer, when I was heading for the kitchen to make rolls?

So let us stroll down my morning path...together...(it's lined with roses and stray kittens to smell and pet)...and you figure out for yourself whether or not I might need medication (not just caffeine~although I'm willing to up my dosage there, if you think it will help, and it probably will, so hold on while I go crack open another one, just so you don't have to remind me later. I wouldn't want to have to be compelled in all things, you know~cuz that makes for a slothful and unwise servant.)

Started in bed, flung myself out to pray with the fam and get Jules ready for the day, went into the great room to read my scriptures (intentions, people~very important~maybe even more so than actions, because remember? The road to Heaven is paved with them...and gold...so if you want to be rich, and walk on gold bricks, intend, intend, intend.) but then remembered the paint guy will be coming to cordon off the fireplace. Picked up the junk and clutter around the area, filling my arms with miscellaneous matter and then looked around for a place to set it down. Notice I did not say, put it away.

Draw your own conclusions.

Went back into kitchen to make breakfast, fed the girl, did her hair, started on the morning paper, sent the girl out the door, went back to bed...just for a moment...when the doorbell peeled and some fool was out there, expecting that the "lady of the house" would be ready or willing to accept callers. A hush fell over the home, not a creature was stirring till the caller went away. Silly caller. Calls are for noon.

However, it did give me a surge of adrenaline~and guilt~(now there is some scary synergy) Which sent me scrambling into the shower. Because everyone knows that if you're not actually accomplishing something, you should at least pretend you are...facade, people, and intentions...remember my vacuum in the middle of the room lesson? I hope I wasn't casting pearls before swine. (school teacher eyebrow raise)

So let's see~showered, groomed, dressed and then went to the door...so as to be able to say that YES, I DID answer the door. Must have JUST missed him. (by 30 minutes. Don't ask, don't tell.)

Tied a bow on the wreath left on my doorstep, picked up a screwdriver left on the floor, with my toes, people. Kind of a special talent I have that not a lot of people know about. Threw away piles of cardboard boxes. Went into the kitchen, read another newspaper article, lit the pumpkin spice candle, (remember, a candle can be mistakenly identified as "Are you kidding me?! She is the most amazing homemaker, for she even bakes pumpkins and spices~together~to fill her home with love.)

Decided to drink some caffeine...and by "decided," I mean it in the same context as when people bear their testimony about how "proud they are that little Mary decided to be baptized." Yeah. Not a decision made my Mary...just like going to school is not a decision that should be made by Mary. And apparently, someone already decided for me that I'd be happy as long as I had a caffeine over rabbit poop ice.

It's for my own good.

Hence, who am I to argue with a higher intelligence?

Where was I? Drank my soda, looked at the paper again, went to the fridge, ate a candy bar, went to the pantry, noticed the bag of flour, thought about making rolls and maybe freezing them for Thanksgiving, remembered my apron was in the library, went to get it but spotted a sticker on the new red stool that was half peeled and needed to be finished. Did that. Forgot why I was in the library. Saw the computer. Decided to blog...while sitting on the apron, that is in the chair, that is in front of the computer, that will keep the rolls from being made.

And THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS! PROOF POSITIVE! Just as the nature of this blog was rambling and unfocused, so too is my life, it seems.

And who is to blame?

Stupid Mary, that's who.






















5 comments:

kara elmore said...

Mary is a stupid crap. If it wasn't for her .... I'd still be at New Moon.

Stupid Mary. You have zits.

I don't. Or so my photoshop tool says so. NOW - I MUST get back to pretending to proof client's images that I haven't actually taken. what???

Lisa said...

Yeah. Mary is definitely not a bright light in the skies, is she? Stupid, stupid Mary.

kara elmore said...

Now - MARY for some reason stuck in my head last night and I actually couldn't sleep. Could've been the excess of diet coke. Or the excess of Mr. Pattinson/Edward. Whatever it may be ... I thought in my head EXTRA comments I would make to you ABOUT Mary.

Mary Mary quite contrary. Couldn't finish that one.

Stupid Mary - she probably eats lambs! Oh wait - are we talking about the same Mary?? (YEP - that was a winner in my head at 3:42. No lie.

And now - it is 11:08 and my YW lesson ISN'T EVEN STARTED. Really. Sheesh. YOU keep blogging and thus making it IMPOSSIBLE to get REAL things done.

Gal - go paint your basement or something. Underachiever.

kara elmore said...

ENOUGH ALREADY! No more "YOU" time.

Get back to entertaining me. Because we ALL know who it's ALL about anyway... right???????

Lisa said...

Hey! I'll start blogging when YOU do my stats counter! Sheesh!