To which I now respond, "Isn't Halloween over? Black cats and a butcher knife to the back are usually just for horror movies, and I can't bring myself to watch those after October 31st."
And so, let us move on...TO THANKSGIVING!!!
I love this season~this harvest time of year. I love red maple leaves against October blue skies. Love glittery copper wreaths on front doors. Love pumpkin spice and gingerbread and homemade cinnamon-nutmeg whipped cream on EVERYTHING~including another giant heap of whipped cream~(let us not scrimp at this time of year, friends. It's all about the bounty. Aaaallll about the bounty.)
And some of what I love is actually more of an absence of what I hate. Like I hate freaky grim reaper clad teens trick-or-treating at my door~tatted and pierced and pretending the holiday belongs to them.
"Aw. Soooooooo sorry, fledgling gangstas." (I throw out a gang sign and grab my crotch, so they know I'm 'down widdat.')
"We're out of shasizzle candy." (Shoulder shrug, chest pound with a fist and insincere frown, followed by a door slam to their thug faces.) "LOCK ALL THE DOORS AND WINDOWS, QUICK!"
I also hate ENORMOUS tarantula spiders and their furry babies cascading from fake webs everywhere. Cuz you know dang well, people, that there are some real arachnids laughing their hairy spider fannies off while dangling a centimeter in front of your eyeballs, while we coo, "Oh, lookey at the darling fake spiders, honey. Sooooooo festive." (hysterical spider laughter in spidey pitch~which is too high for us to hear)
Anyway, the moment the clock hits midnight and we turn the calendar forward a month, all those ugly things disappear with the ghoulish mist and I am again at peace~Impending gluttony and an excuse for every last calorie peace. Aaaahhh.
So let us all raise our fists in the spirit of the Pilgrim and the Indian~~~knuckle bumps to one and all! Hip hip hooray!~
I can almost see them wiping a tear as they look down from the Heavens.
(Might be weeping from embarrassment rather than pride.)