1) Putting on mascara (or any eye makeup, for that matter) the morning that you watch your weeping children embrace and say heart-ripping-out-of-chest goodbyes, for two years, is just plain denial.
2) Cocky mothers who mock other mothers for weeping are only setting themselves up for composure wipe-outs~the Lesson Teaching Angels (they're the ones who used to be tattle-tells on the playground before they died) make sure of that.
3) I've run out of moisture~squirted every last drop out of my face. And even though every other thing on me~including eyes, ears, lips and fingers~shriveled and shrank like a grape to a raisin from the dehydration, my nose become even MORE bulbous...and enlarged...and discolored...and shiny. I screamed that it was unfair while I swiped furiously at it with powder, but nobody thought it was their job to listen. Jerks.
4) And speaking of jerks, some foolish (and when I say foolish, that is me being TERRIBLY generous, because what I'd really like to call this fool is not very Christlike~and is probably more like an offensive curse word that would make you question my upbringing) people might think, that rather than feel the emotional angst that accompanies such an act as letting your eldest child go and serve his God for two years...that they can instead bandage the gaping wound with stacks of twenties~and it won't hurt as bad.
So, for instance, they might go buy some ASININE and staggeringly expensive item~without even whispering their intentions into their eternal companion's ear~and THEN act surprised when angry slit eyes show up on her face.
5) Fools should never, ever, ever be surprised to find themselves locked out of houses after bandaging wounds with dollar bills.