Friday, September 25, 2009


Just attended a bridal fair and had a few thoughts to share. They are as follows:

Fat armed brides wearing strapless dresses=denial. Pure and simple. A word of advice. Sleeves are your friend, sweetie. Embrace them, love them, WEAR them. 'Nuff said.

People attend a bridal fair because they're either (a) getting married or (b) somehow connected to someone that is getting married. So why the squirrel scurry like you're protecting your nut-pile when a vendor makes eye contact? (gasp!) Criminy! You're the people that back up while making a cross with your fingers to ward off salespeople when you enter their store, aren't you? "JUST LOOKING!" you scream, eyes darting around looking for an escape route. Mm hmm. Thought so.

"How you met" newlywed game stories are only interesting to you and your fiance, and sometimes, only to you. Especially with a sizable dose of "ums, likes and totally!"

The Cinderella story does NOT go backward, as in "I had always dreamed of meeting my prince, getting married and having babies. The fairy tale! My Cinderella story just happened in reverse." (simpering smile) Screech! Tires squealing and rubber burning. Sorry, babe~not a fairy tale. It's called "government subsidized life in the early stages." Nothing more, nothing less. And definitely nothing like a fairy tale. (tilted head, mocking smile)

I think that's it. Probably more equally snotty and sarcastic thoughts will occur to me after I post this, but for now, that's all she wrote. And by she, I mean me.


Kara Elmore said...

OH YES you can say it out loud - and you should!!! :)

Kara Elmore said...

more. I need more.

.E. said...

OK seriously I have to stop reading your blog and get back to editing client photos.. or I will never ever finish them and thus never have that feeling of what the H _ _ _ why cant I ever finish feeling off my back..