Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Bitty Boo calls me up today and all I hear is screaming. "I've just locked the baby out of the house. Tell me it's OK. She's looking at me through the window while she knocks on the door. I need you to tell me it's OK that I am not letting her back in. It's for her own protection. I can't hurt her if she's outside, you know?" By the way, the screaming was not from the baby, but from the baby's mother.

I laugh hysterically. I had that child. Actually, I was that child, but that's another story. When my daughter was Baby Maby's age, I had a heart to heart with Heavenly Father. "Ok, here's what's goin' down. I am receiving NO JOY Heavenly Father. NO JOY WHATSOEVER from this child. You're going to have to fix her." And I waited. I'm still waiting.

But to be fair, He did send me some tender mercies to make amends. For example, she has long hair, so I can curl and twirl and adorn it with diamonds and flowers. And, for Halloween, she allowed me to make her a princess costume every year. Maybe not whole-heartedly, but in the end, I won. "You want to be a cat? How about a cat princess?" "You want to be a witch? How about Glinda the good witch?" You get the idea. It doesn't really matter how it happened, OK? Just that it happened. And yes, my good fortune did run out, as just yesterday I clicked on the "buy now" button for a football ensemble for her costume. It is powder blue, so I haven't begun to sob...yet.

So back to Baby Maby. That chick sure has her mother's number. Just as my daughter had~and has~mine. A push here. A shove there. And laughing maniacally as she watches her mother nose dive off the cliff of insanity. Then shrugging her shoulders, wiping her hands and turning away. "Now what?" I'll tell you what. You're locked out of the house, that's what. And Bitty Boo shrugs her shoulders, wipes her hands and turns away. Take two year old!


Kara Elmore said...

Somehow - SOMEHOW I found JOY in reading this. Knowing wholeheartedly that I wanted ... WANTED to sob because you caught every emotion I felt while I called you!

The Simonson Family said...

As soon as my GREAT SIZE ZERO friend refered to your blog, I HAD to check it out! If you are Kara's's going to be good! Love Kara deeply and I know that Baby Maby is very lucky to have her for a mom, even if she locks her outside in AZ 109 degree temp. Thanks for giving me 15 min. out of my crazy day to enjoy your blog!

Lisa said...

Anyone who loves my Bitty Boo, I must love. It is required. You know, I didn't realize it was 109 degrees. I'm calling DCSF.

Amberlee said...

Well I bet Maby had Oscars water dish... haha

I still strive to be like you...satin sheets, Mentholatum, and Cheerleading Uniform

Lisa said...

Amberlee, you cannot make me feel worse than I already do about my poor sistering and poor sisters friending. I'm trying to make up for it with better parenting, but so far, it's a wash.