THE MANY FACES OF LISA

So I sit down to the desk to write a blog entry, and without trying, conjure up "ugly computer face". This is a recent discovery~this screwing up of my facial features~as my son brought it to my attention just a couple of weeks ago. Bless his heart.

I had wondered why the sudden increase of wrinkles around my mouth~lipstick seeping into the cracks like filler putty. Also, my eyes have crows talons (not feet, talons) scratching out from the corners and down to almost mid cheek. What the H, people? But I had dismissed it, like any self-deceiving...I mean respecting...woman would do. Until one evening, my son walks into the library, stands directly in front of me and stays there...watching. "What's got you so concerned, Mom?" He grins with his head to one side~cocked. And cocky.

"Huh?" I articulate.

"You should see your face. It's all scrunched up, and your shoulders are kind of quasi-motto. And like, your lips are shoved clear out away from your face." He was still grinning.

I immediately relaxed my mouth and lifted my eyebrows~a kind of surprised innocence look. Which we all know, is the "applying make-up face." He chuckled and left the room, standing tall and unblemished, and I went back to reading, writing and morphing~completely unaware. And unbelieving. Until he set up the computer to record my face as I was typing. Mm hmm. That's right. 'Nuff said.

Then...I was up in my sewing room...sewing...(who knew?) and I was getting a jaw ache. And that's when I noticed that I have thrust my lower jaw so far forward as to resemble the missing link. My shoulders were hunched around my ears, one foot was turned in and sideways and once again, my lips were "shoved clear out away from my face"~kind of like I was trying to keep a pencil on my upper lip. So I relaxed all of these body parts, did the Olympian head adjustment from side to side, cleared my throat and went back to sewing, only to find myself in exactly the same position just seconds after the fix. I mean, seriously, seconds later. I ask again, what the H, people?!

And guess what? Since I've been writing the blog, I have undone my ugly face at least a dozen times. Probably more. And so I wonder, exactly how long has this been going on? And who didn't tell me about it? And how many wrinkles could have been staved off, if there had just been a token finger lift and point? I will be the first to tell someone if they have a bat in their cave, almond flakes in their teeth or a witch hair standing tall and proud out of a mole. That's just common courtesy, people. So a quicker warning about ugly computer face would have been much appreciated. Now I'll forever have upper-lip-pencil-holder wrinkles. Great. Might as well go do the ugly cry. I nailed that baby in Jr. High.