Thursday, August 5, 2010

DAINTY

HEY, GUESS WHAT?! 'MEMBER THAT TATTLE TELL NURSE APPOINTMENT FOR THE 'UPON UNTIMELY DEATH' LIFE INSURANCE POLICY? YEAH, WELL, IT'S TOMORROW MORNING! AND SORRY ABOUT THE YELLING, BUT ONCE AGAIN, THAT'S HOW IT SOUNDS IN MY BRAIN, AND I'M JUST TRANSLATING WHAT I HEAR...

And yes, I'm vacillating between starve and purge today, on account of the whole "death bed repentance" concept that works so well for me. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Princess Lisa, if climbing on those digital scales causes you such grief and pain...if it's the thorn in your side...the bat in your cave...the pee when you cough...then WHY, OH, WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

To which I reply~

~with the raising of my fatty sausage middle finger...


But first I suck off the Cheetos residue. Cuz I'm dainty like that.






6 comments:

T said...

:) we love little dainty cheeto bird flipping you :)

Kara Elmore said...

Soooo this nurse of yours .... is she in a ... shall we say ... "SITUATION" .... that she can be (dare I say?) BOUGHT? PURCHASED? WOOED? ENTICED? BRIBED?

Because IF you could answer YES to any of those ... then I say DO IT!

Otherwise, find the weakest point in your wood floor and put the digital scale on it. HOLD ON TIGHT to the counter top and PRESS DOWN TIGHT. It will lift your weight by AT LEAST 14 lbs. I know. I did it yesterday.

IF on account she CAN NOT be bribed - then BY ALL MEANS use your cheetos middle finger and ask HER what HER weight is ... ask HER what HER life insurance policy is ... then ask HER if she'll go shopping with you.

It will work.

One Cluttered Brain said...

I love cheetoes too!
Let's high five our cheeto sausage fingers together!
:)

Lisa said...

Let's call it "Flippin' the Cheeto bird!" I love it...new name for my book. :)

Boo, I've thought of every one of those scenarios. I'm thinking of having a lovely display of "things" she might like...just kind of sitting there on the table...inviting~enticing~basically tempting her to let go just a wee little bit of her professional ethics and change one or two of the numbers that blink on the digital screen. Is that so wrong? Win/win situation.

Holly said...

Have something yummy just about ready to come out of the oven after she arrives... The smell of baked goods is a weakness for everyone... Right??

Well, they won't DENY you, they'll just tack on a few bucks every month. (OK, in MY case it was more than a few... but I'm 2 of you.. Right?) LOL!!

HEY!! DID you know your FAMOUS?? Just dancing away on YouTube!! Do a search for CBC Cameron and see what comes up. ;D Good memories. I wish I'd have loosened up more that night. *sigh* Would have been so much MORE FUN!!

Don't let me forget to tell you about that plaque and perspective!! LOL!! (((HUGS)))

Jackie said...

So...how did it go?