Friday, September 3, 2010


FOURTH visit to Zupas+SECOND day of post cut and color bad hair=FORTY TWOOTH year on Earth, people!

And while relishing the MADE FOR ME PERFECT BIRTHDAY WEATHER yesterday, swigging down a Dr. Pepper from Anony, and arms open wide walking t'ward what was sure to be a cascade of gifts once I opened the mailbox...a waterfall of blue Tiffany boxes, birthday checks and Jag convertibles...while singing a duet with Carly Simon in ANTICIPATION of the abundance of ketchup love that was soon to be pouring down upon my hamburger head...well, I was just overcome with what fantastic friends ME has earned.

You're my allowance for the ILLUSTRIOUS WOMAN IN ZION job that I do so well.
Little amigo coins in my ceramic pig.
The tip jar at the register of the Princess Lisa establishment.

Now I do have to say that the mailbox action was more drought than flood. But then, sometimes houses wash away in heavy rains. And sometimes it's required of Lisa to shove her knife down into that damm stubborn, stingy Heinz bottle and drudge up her own 'just what I wanteds', on account of she's tired of pretending she likes bottles of bath salts from All a Dollar.

Not that she doesn't.

Just that she doesn't.

Anyway, that's what I did. I purchased, people. I didn't purchase PEOPLE. I purchased COMMA people. All manner of wares~from vintage purses to Halloween decor. Every last piece, just what I wanted! Then I left it out in the car overnight, so as to prolong the suspense.

"HOW DID YOU GUESS?!" I squealed upon sifting through bags this morning.

"Oh, I just listened to your subtle hints." I replied.


"I know. It's just that you mean so much to me, I had to make sure this was your best birthday ever." I humbly admitted.

And it was. At least until next year, when I'm sure to outdo myself.

So you see, all of you nay givers actually gave me the best present of all...permission to spoil the birthday girl like a piece of forgotten fruit in a warm crisper.

And no, that smell is NOT me...'s the fermenting roses I sent me.


Garden of Egan said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, you're just a pup.

I am so glad you gifted to yourself. That is the best way.
I was afraid you would hate the Tiffany's thingy I bought you so I took it back. I am afraid I just don't know your taste.

Happy Birthday again Beautiful WOMAN!!!!!

Kara Elmore said...

OH MY @#$!!!! This is BY FAR your best entry yet. WHEN IS THAT BOOK COMING OUT? Because I've already found the perfect dress for you to make me while we round the country in our perfectionness of happy motherhood/book writer/sister companion.

Now - just to PROVE that this was HYSTERICAL beyond anything *I* have written ... know that I 1) walked down the stairs to see if you posted anything (keep in mind I am "post having baby by BARELY 3 days and every walk down the stairs is a walk of blood). 2) I laid baby M down ... and we know she's SO delicious that I want to hold her all the time. and 3) while I sat in the HARD CHAIR w/ my newly renovated/newly healing arrangement downstairs, I laughed SO hard I didn't mind the hemoraging. Or however you spell it.


Mimi Sue said...

I thought I was the only one that got bath salts from all a dollar. Gifting ourselves makes for a happy marriage. We should put that in a manual and teach it to the Relief Society. Hope your birthday was wonderful. Mimi said...

I didn't know that wonderful birthdays came any other way then doing it yourself. I really hope you had a great day, you deserve it my sweet and funny friend.


The Martos Fudge said...

Happy Late Birthday... I love to get just what I wanted... And of course the only way to that is buying it myself.

Krista said...

Oh my Heck-tic Hannah! Thanks for giving me the laughs! Yes, I am reading this at 12:45am when I have time! I thought I would save myself the trip in the middle of the night to pee and do it right here in front of my computer. I'm glad you had a great birthday!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said... really are just too funny and to even poke fun at such a serious subject of birthday presents that families are suppose to bestow upon us.(well my daughter is really good, but sons...cough cough)still waiting and it's been 2 weeks or more.

I'm like you...its so much better to buy my own and be happier!

Salt H2O said...

Brilliant way to never be disappointed on your birthday.

I'm going to start putting this method into action.