Thursday, July 15, 2010

BAGGERS

How is Sandra Lee from 'Semi-homemade', so freakishly thin? And can she be trusted? I mean, shouldn't the prerequisite for dependable foodies be an untucked shirt?

I guess it doesn't matter~as long as she continues to make lovely tablescapes while coordinating curtains, dishes and Mix Masters every episode. Course, when she runs out of mixer colors, she has to end the show. What a shame.

Speaking of food, I went to a new grocery store last night and was thoroughly unimpressed. Enormous warehouse, no rhyme or reason for the layout and get this~I had to bag my own groceries. Which may not seem an imposition, but between the raised eyebrow of the checker and the tapping foot of the guy waiting behind me, let's just say that two loaves of bread and a carton of eggs makes an effective, albeit regrettable, pillow for a 13 pound watermelon.

Anyway, until now, I didn't fully appreciate my friendly neighborhood market, with fresh peaches, sugar snap peas and acne prone baggers that call me Ma'am. I remember the day that happened for the first time. Before then, I'd always been Miss (hot babe). Funny how just the switch up of those two words can be considered a hostile act.

That was also around the time I had to stop leering at LDS Return Missionaries.

And started wearing pantyhose for support rather than vanity.

And learned the art of soft focus lighting.


Anyway, time flies when you're hoarding fabric.







11 comments:

Cluttered Brain said...

You know what?
you crack me up?
Time flies when you are holding a hoard of fabric....Indeed...

The Martos Fudge said...

Man I remember when I could choose a grocery store to go to... My options are limited to Walmart... you are too cute.

Jackie said...

Move to the south, everyone is Ma'am.

Either that or I'm older than I think.

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

I have to say, even in the North ma'am has become the standard reference for all women - the world has taken a tragic turn away from miss.

Mimi Sue said...

I'm waaaay behind on my comments. Probably because I'm laughing so hard I can't see through my squinty eyes. Anyway. I can't seem to get the rug angel image out of my mind. Good luck at tick camp. If I didn't have time for a shower I'd cancel the dang appointment. And it's OK to lie about your weight. I asked the bishop at a temple recommend interview. You're supposed to put what you WANT to weigh on your drivers license. It says so in the DMV handbook. Mimi

Anonymous said...

Lovely blog. I enjoy it every day. It's also humorously interesting the side-blog advertising that grabs hold of a particular word and places an ad on your blog just because that word appeared in your blog, like "acne" or "foot ."

Krista said...

Lisa, there is so much I want to say and I know I just don't need to say it because you are already thinkin' the same thing I am thinkin'. Bwahahaha!

I went to that same LoseCo and was HORRIFIED that I had to bag my own groceries. I'll stick to the genetically mutating baggers at that "other ginormous place" right down the road from me.

Holly said...

I haven't been in that place yet... Thanks for the heads up! Besides, I like putting EVERYTHING (gas, groceries, etc...) on our Discover card and paying it in full every month. REALLY racks up the rewards without having to pay any interest! Then we can get something fun when we get that return at the end of the year. BONUS! ;D

Thank you Ma'am... OK, JK!! SORRY!! Please don't HURT ME!! ;p ((HUGS!))

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Your all funny!

My husband does most of the shopping for groceries anymore, well for the longest time. Most Thankful and grateful...I put in my time. Besides its a full time job shopping for "my passion" store.

Noticed husband was looking forward to going to that grocery store, think he went once and has gone back to his fav's. Kents.

Thank goodness the little guy stores can be saved by their faithful shoppers who love their service and baggers and credit card machines.
Let them know that loseco is not going to close their doors.

As for me...I just look at that big place and say to my husband "I am not going in that store ever" now I have evidence right here that I can stick by those words.

Good luck feeding those extra kids Ma'am!

Lisa said...

You're all sillies...and the next one of you that calls me MA'AM FREAKIN' DIES!~seriously (two fingered eyeball point and cutting motion across neck)

Kara Elmore said...

#1 - we BOTH know you and I don't wear pantyhose. WHY? Because mom asks us EVERY TIME If what we were wearing ALSO came w/ hose? Our answer? "why yes mother - we would NEVER not wear hose ... in july .. when we're pregnant ... or sweating in our darling dress." However - we BOTH know the amazing heels on our feet made up for the lack of hose.

#2 Can't STAND warehouse stores. Hate having to load in my OWN groceries. But mostly - LOVE it when those cute little checkers think I'm sweet, and my kids are cute and they actually REMEMBER my name and ask if they can give my kids a sucker. One of my only reasons for missing Kaysville - Bomans. :(

And #3 .... The ONLY thing Miss Sandra Lee is putting in her mouth the ENTIRE freaking day is the ONE bite of food she eats ... only to show us that it was edible. We all know we only watch it to see her decorations. But WOW - doesn't she make a LOT of liquored up drinks for adults at the end of the show???

PS - I need that apron. I dreamed/dreamt about it last night. And then danced around in my new dress. **sigh** need. want. they're all in the same.