Monday, July 19, 2010

SQUANDERING

Back to school shopping with nieces and daughter (highlights)~


Sister-in-law~"I told the girls absolutely no peace shirts."

Girls~"Can we PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE get new peace shirts?"


Me~"Are you feeling okay, honey?"

Em~"I feel wiggly and my eyes will only open half way."

Me~"Do you feel sick?"

Em~"I don't think so...but I probably feel like throwing up."

Lil~"Maybe looking at some fashion will make you feel better."


Lil~"Um, I think I need to go to the bathroom."

Lil~(whispered) "Um, nothing really came out, but toots."

Lil~"Um, I think I need to go to the bathroom again."

Lil~(whispered) "Um, nothing really came out but more toots."

Lil~"Um, I think I need to go to the bathroom again."

Me~"You know what? Let's not rush this, Lil. Feel free to sit and wait until something besides toots come out."


All of them~"THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT LISA, THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT LISA, THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT LISA, THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT LISA, THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT LISA, THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT LISA"...X's infinity.

Me~"You're very welcome, girls. You're very welcome, girls. You're welcome, girls. Oh, you're welcome, girls. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. "OKAY, NO MORE SAYING THANK YOU TO AUNT LISA!"


To sum up, Em remained feverish and wiggly, but never did puke. Apparently looking at fashion really can make you feel better. Lil never succeeded in getting more than toots to come out, no matter how many trips we made to the food court public cesspool~which, may I add, is my favorite hangout spot. And Jules found a bouncing dress. Every time she'd jump, it would boing straight up, displaying her underwear and belly, which created all the MORE fun, making for giggling good times spent in the red carpeted Macy's dressing room. (Boing, boing, bounce, hop, boing, bounce, hop...)

We blew a few hundred imaginary (debit card) dollars, which the intelligent girls promptly put into real world terms. "OH MY GOODNESS! THAT'S ABOUT WHAT A COUCH WOULD COST!"

Which stopped me dead in my tracks on our way back to the car. Now just a word of caution...

...never, ever, EVER put a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants shopping trip into REAL WORLD TERMS. There's a reason that somebody penned the saying, "Ignorance is bliss."

Because it is, friends. It is. And we would all do well to stop using our heads to suck the joy and frivolity out of life.

Now let's get back to mindless squandering, shall we? See? Isn't that better?


You're welcome.



12 comments:

T said...

I think I need me some mindless squandering - as long as the mall has rockin' AC I think it's just the thing for today!

Kara Elmore said...

That's about what a COUCH would cost??? HAHHAHA!! Ohhh the intelligent girls. They will do well to lose that smartness ... and quickly!

Oh the BRIGHT side of things .. you will not have to take your OTHER niece (baby maby) until she has been trained not to open and shut doors over and over and over again. Thus giving you plenty of fun walking time in the mall .. to go to the bathrooms ... and to find PEACE shirts. OH PLEASE tell me you bought some for them!?!?!

Another bright note ... you can use that backpack from 2 weeks ago. Saving you $15. See ... a couch? NO - $15 short.

The Martos Fudge said...

Holy Molly, I wish you were my aunt.... I can use a whole day of shopping, Heck I'll even take a couch to save you some time. Haha... I love it. You are an awesome aunt.

See Mom Smile said...

I want to go shopping with you Aunt Lisa! Oh wait I did and I got NOTHING! I like anything but skeleton shirts. I don't like skeletons. Nordstroms has the best bathrooms ever! That is where I go when I have the toots.

Lisa said...

Boo, I didn't buy them peace shirts, but I DID buy them bedazzled knit church dresses. I know. I'm Satan. Linda, you're right. I wasn't feeling very generous that day. But I am today. Too bad you live in VEGAS, or I'd meet you at Nordstroms with my arms and wallet wide open.

Mimi Sue said...

When I was reading your post I had a flashback to 1996 and a prom dress shopping expedition. In California. Where there are NO modest formals to be found. By the end of the trip I was feverish, frantic, and definitely gassy. You have so much to look forward to. Lucky you. Mimi

Krista said...

Can you ever have too many peace shirts? I'm with Linda - no skull shirts. Shopping is not about reality, it is about enjoyment and quality time with your nieces and daughter. It is about keeping the economy going. We are just doing our part. So let's get together soon and stimulate the economy.

Garden of Egan said...

I think that I need to go couch shopping with you.
Seriously.

I can't believe that you wouldn't buy them peace shirts but yet buy them a harlot church dress. You really should be ashamed.
Or not.

Thanks for helping me feel good about all the squandering I do.

Holly said...

LOL!! I am NOT SO COOL of an aunt! I'm sure my nieces and nephews would LOVE for me to take lessons from YOU... but there are so many of them... *sigh*

I have to say, you're a really AWESOME blog friend, too! Did you figure if you could go to the Mindy Gledhill concert? I still haven't bought tickets so I thought I'd double check. ;D

Mimi - I'm sorry I didn't open my MODEST bridal store in Riverside, CA until the end of 2002. I'd have LOVED to have helped you!! I sold it when we moved back in mid-2006. Apparently that woman remarried and dropped the ball! I'm SO SAD about that!! I worked night and day building that place up for 3.5 years. *sniff*

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Sounds like some fun shopping therapy goin on here...relatives and all, how good is that!

Love Ignorance is Bliss...feels so much better so many times. Or thinking "oh what the heck" Or "we're just going to die anyway". really helps!

Pezlady Jana said...

I can always tell when you have taken those cuties shopping because they look even cuter than usual....if that is possible! Nat always tells me what a great Aunt you are and I totally believe her. You are awesome!!

Natalie said...

Oh Lisa!!! I laughed so hard it woke the girls up!!!! I LOVED it!! Thanks for taking them shopping... my half-opened eyed feverish little tooters. They love you more than life itself! I told them and told them..."Make sure you say THANK YOU Aunt Lisa, because she doesn't have to do this for your.. you are very lucky to have her... she must really love you!!!" They are such grateful little girls... I find myself constantly telling them to stop thanking me all ready, a couple of times is just as good as a million. What a terrible mother to have to tell her kids to STOP saying thank you, it's either that or they find a mother that is starting to lose it! HAHAHA :) But seriously, THANK YOU AUNT LISA!!!!!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, a million times.