Tuesday, July 6, 2010

NEAR DEATH

How many boxes of Chiklets is TOO MANY boxes of Chiklets? I'll answer that question with a question~just how many teeth do we really need anyway? And is diabetes as bad as they say? Don't know yet~sure to find out. But so far, my body seems to be adjusting just fine to the insulin shock and hopefully I can keep from seizing until after this post.

By the way, I forgot to mention my near death experience. I'll wait while you grab a Kleenex. So we were walking out the door for our holiday weekend, and we noticed rabbit poop ice machine was under the weather~some sort of anal seepage. We handed it a bowl to throw-up in and told it to watch TV until we got back. When we returned, it was pale and listless, so Ster started guttin' it like a fish. I couldn't watch~my maternal instincts are too strong. I turned away and bit my knuckle.

Long story short, imagine ice machine on a gurney, paddles connected, the shout of "CLEAR" and voltage coursing through it's wires as we tried desperately to save its life. The beep on the monitor quickens momentarily...then slows...then all is silent except for quiet weeping in the corner. The Priest crosses himself and everything goes dark as I pass out cold on the floor.

When I came to, the repairman was just finishing up and I was writing him a hefty check, generous tip included, for "unsticking a gear." I gave him a puffy eyed smile as we embraced and I held his face in my hands.

Waving goodbye, I went in and put my ear to the belly of the door...just making sure it was still breathing. Once again, that maternal instinct.

We nearly lost him, folks. And I shall never again take for granted the giving soul that is...Ice Machine.


Bless it's frigid cold, pellet shaped heart.

May it beat forever to the hum of unstuck gears.

Amen.









10 comments:

Jennifer said...

Loved it.

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Oh this is great stuff Lisa...holy smokes I am so laughing LOUD, almost glad no one is around.

I was using my very pretty antique red cranberry glass having a cold swig of diet coke... however when I read the part of anal leakage...and I went "Oh Lisa, NoOOooo...not RIGHT NOW Pleeeeez
but it was too late!

Lesson learned today...don't drink lovely sodas when reading Lisa's blog posts.
Really Wish it had rabbit poop ice in it though. And I am so glad your near death experience was a lesson in appreciation for the finer things in life. Dont take them for granted.
Did it smell?

Kara Elmore said...

Just for this post, Mr. ICE MACHINE will die when you least expect it ... and there will be nothing you can do. Just make sure to NEVER mention the words SONIC ICE in his presence ... that would SURELY send him into gear sticking shock!

I'm proud of you for holding on until the end. Tears and all. Not letting anger get in the way of "what could have been"

:)

Erica Borrowman said...

You are so hilarious...loved this post. So glad rabbit poop ice provider is doing well once again. We just never appreciate the givers until they're gone, do we? Or, uh, almost gone. Anyway, NICE stat counter by the by...26,343!? Wow. You are my famous (infamous) friend. :) Hope you're well and having a wondrous summer vaca. Talk to you soon.

T said...

oh phew - I was sure we were going to have to take up a collection to have rabbit poop ice delivered hourly!

Anonymous said...

My, oh my. Don't EVER scare me like that! You know how LOVED that cold hearted machine is! However, if I'd have known, I would have fasted and prayed for it. Mr. Rabbit Poop is my Sabbath saving grace! Thank you for breathing life into it once again! Anony :)

PS...what's up with the new comment section?

annie said...

wow - now thats what I call addiction!

Krista said...

You just about wore that poor ice machine right out, didn't you? It's lived fast and hard but in the end it will die doing what it loved the most. I'm glad you got it sorted (sordid) out. BTW, went to Parade of Homes. Can you say beige with a capital B? Okay, taupe with a capital T. They all had the same color scheme with the exception of ONE house, that looked like it should be on the beachside. Thought you would appreciate my critique.

Mimi Sue said...

Oh I am so very glad Mr. Rabbit poop ice machine made it. I simply don't have time this week for a funeral. Lesson learned...don't take things you love for granted. You just never know...Mimi

.E. said...

where does one find such a machine of wonder? is it apart of your fridge? or is it a whole separate device? I like ice of this nature.. quite a bit.. when I was a little girl I preferred it over ice cream much to the disappointment of my grandparents who thought I was nuts.
If I want rabbit poop ice I have to put regular ice cubes in a baggie ands smash the bejesus out of them. While great for aggression and tension release.. kindda messy