Wednesday, July 21, 2010

PLAGUE

Missionary son was cursed with a plague last week~a plague based on the amount of times he's washed his Brazil infested sheets over the past few months. He wouldn't say what that number was~or even if it existed~just that he's learned his blistered, oozing, open sore rash lesson and won't soon repeat this error. Sometimes that's what it takes, you know.

I myself prefer to learn through YOUR mistakes, people. And let's face it~you've given me pleeeeeeeenty of opportunities to do so. So thank you, from the bottom of my no-fail-fudge heart.

Speaking of fudge, I still haven't received a call from the "You profess this is your actual weight? Really? And you're stickin' with that, are ya now?" life insurance premium nurse (tattle-tell). And remember when I said it might just be the catalyst to BECOME what I said I already WAS? You 'member that? Yeah, well, not so much. Which brings us back to fudge. Draw your own conclusions.

Anyway, keep on fumbling your way through life and I'll keep using you as an example of what not to do~because the more people who can benefit from your imperfections, the more worthwhile you become.

You're kind of like a donor.

A mistake donor.

And that right there is a very noble cause. To screw up your own life, that others might not. So hat in hand, we thank you.

(And by 'we' I mean 'me'...cuz I think all the 'others' I'm speaking of are just as bass-ackwards as you. But I didn't want to sound all judgmental, so I feigned humility and included them.)



Are those flaming torches and pitchforks in the distance? Huh. Weird.











4 comments:

T said...

I love your feigned humility - every no-fail-fudge bit of it!

Word Verifier says plowedly - thankfully your posts are not SO "full of it" that we have to wade through them "plowedly"

Garden of Egan said...

You are a spaz!
And I love yer guts.

Holly said...

So sorry your son has to learn this harsh lesson this way... I mean, WHY couldn't it have bee his COMP to learn from? My BAD!

So let me comprehend this wicked nurse... She used a bewitched scale with inaccurate readings and wrote the inflated number on the FORM?? INCONCEIVABLE! (If I got this wrong, please correct. As you know my logic is frequently FLAWED and I need my good friends to keep me in line... but if that's correct, I'm with ya' sista'! Let's burn her at the stake! ;p

Now if you're holding back the recipe of NO FAIL FUDGE from me in MY moment of NEED... well then... ;p We may have to rethink this...

Thank you for always being my voice of reason and love!! I love your suggestions. I don't think I could get a cleaner at this late of an hour of the need. ...and Take out for 34 could come with quite the price tag... (aka... LOVE the hubs... but he CAN be CHEEP... I mean... FRUGAL...)

Anyway, I'll keep screwing up my life, because I'm kinda' good at it... so that you have such a great example, and all... because I'm GIVING that way... Besides, this bipolar thing is SO HELPFUL in helping me view everything in such a realistic rosy view. *sigh*

Glad to help! Thanks for remaining such a true friend even after you know how messed up I can be at times... In short, I love your guts! ((HUGS))

BTW: You asked a while back about how open I've been... I guess this is my therapy and where I let it out once in a while because none of my so-called friends come here... or even family... except occasional lurking... But it's me... RAW. They prefer to ignore... and I try to fake so no one else is uncomfortable... and sometimes I just feel like I'm going to explode if I don't cut a little hole and let some steam out. So as for the blog, I have opened up about things I've NEVER opened up before. I wouldn't even acknowledge that #2 psycho ever happened... yes, they know about him, but I never speak of him... I even tried to get hubs to delete him out of the family history... (If ANYONE EVER tries to do WORK for him & I... I will HAUNT THEM through ALL ETERNITY!!) *HISSING*

You, my friend, have been the scariest because you DO know who I am IRL and IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD... and I haven't scared you away yet... YOU seem to be my voice of reason to help me return to semi sanity with love and support and free of judgement! YOU ARE AWESOME!! Thank YOU!!

Krista said...

I tried to leave a comment awhile ago and it wouldn't let me. Probably because I had the word D@mn in it. Only because I was mentioning that I kept my scales in my toilet room so I could turn around and throw up after I weighed myself. And also my word verification was "ponymess" which reminded me of a word you may or may not have used the other day.