SO, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAKES ME FORGET ALL ABOUT THE ALUMNI ASSEMBLY I'M IN CHARGE OF IN TWO WEEKS, WEATHER OUTSIDE, LADIES AND GENTS! What a tender mercy.
Oh, you caught that part about the alumni assembly? Well, yes. It's been on my mind a little bit lately. And because friends share their inner most thoughts, here's a little peek into my scattered gray matter for the last several weeks~the hours between 11:00 PM and 7:00 AM...
Dream, dream, drift off and dream about OH MY HE&%, OH MY HE&%, YOU STILL DON'T HAVE THE JOCK DANCE-OFF TEAM PUT TOGETHER! YOU TOLD HER YOU'D GET HER THE LIST SO SHE COULD START TEACHING THEM THE DANCE AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T DONE IT! LIGHTNING FLASHES, THUNDER CRASHES! OH MY HE&%, OH MY HE&%, OH MY HE&%!!!!
Snooze, relax, breathing dies down to HOLY FREAKING COWS, HOW MANY ALUMNI ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO ATTEND? MAYBE THEY'VE ALL LIED AND SAID THEY'D BE THERE, BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, THEY FORGET and THERE ARE ONLY 6 OF US?! THAT'S RIGHT, SIX!!! FILTHY TOILETS OVERFLOW WITH MANURE WATER! WAKE UP, ADRENALINE SURGE AND FLIP ON EVERY LIGHT SO YOU CAN WRITE DOWN THESE FLEETING BUT URGENT THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW ON YOUR BEDSIDE LIST. HURRY, QUICK, QUICK, BEFORE THEY DUMP OUT OF YOUR LITTLE PEA BRAIN AND SOAK INTO YOUR PILLOW, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN UNTIL THE MORNING OF THE ASSEMBLY WHEN IT'S TOO LATE!
Finally fall asleep and dream of little shimmering fairies that turn into OLD, WHISKERY FAT CHINNED MEN DRESSED IN ALUMNI CHEERLEADING UNIFORMS AND BUILDING A PYRAMID THAT COLLAPSES ON THE HIGH SCHOOL STAGE, INTO A PILE OF BROKEN BONES, SHATTERED DREAMS AND HIP REPLACEMENTS AS THE AMBULANCE SIRENS SCREAM PAST MY BEDROOM WINDOW, ALL TO THE TUNE OF LADY GAGA'S JUST DANCE!
And that right there is just a weeeeeee, liiiiiittllllle, teeeeeeeny, tiiiiiiiny glimmer of insight into what is causing my blood pressure to SOOOOOOAAAAARRRRR to the HIGHEST HEIGHTS OF THE MEDICAL CHARTS...which will be really good for me when I show up for my "procedure" next week and they have to make me lie on my left side until it calms down enough that they can put me under. They may even have to perform the surgery while I lie on my left side. I guess guts are guts, no matter which way the body is situated.
Anyway, is it any wonder I've found solace in stale circus peanuts? And maybe a box or two of hot tamales? Or maybe a few (10) bars of chocolate and "found" Easter Bunny remains? See, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to get through big, fat, STUPID assignments that don't even result in being elected class president or receiving a higher salary...or any salary.
It's my very own homemaker/wife/mother/blog writer reward system. And if the numbers on the scale are any indication of my prosperity, well, let's just say it's lookin' PRETTY DARN GOOD FOR ME, PEOPLE! NAME IN NEON LIGHTS, GOOD!
Ah, the sweet taste of success........tastes suspiciously like circus peanuts.
10 comments:
Just so you know I'm freeking out too! I too am wondering who will really be there. We need to figure out a plan for sleep, I mean to get alumni there. Stacy Strong said none of her friends don't know about it. what to do what to do!!
Just found me a package of "chicks and rabbits" (easter circus peanuts) in the back of my pantry! Happy day for me!
Good luck with the assembly! Too bad I am of an "another" alumni!!! GO, ROYALS, GO--through the toughest battles will our colors show!! That was me singing and cheering the "fight" song even though I was just a pretend cheerleader, NOT a REAL one like you :) Anony
Yup, I'm with Anony on this one, GO ROYALS, SCORE THAT.....GOAL UNIT, BASKET. Circus Peanuts anyone?
Alumni reunion? Old men dancing? It won't hurt my feelings if I am not invited.
Oh, YOU ARE INVITED, SEE MOM SMILE! TOTALLY INVITED! And it WILL hurt my feelings if you don't attend! Anony, nobody will even know if you went there or not. Same with you, husband. And if I need fillers, don't be surprised when you get a panicked call at 7:00 AM the day of.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're blogging about gross, disgusting circus peanuts, stale no less, as I sit here eating my first one in what, 12 years? THAT'S how desperate I am for sugar right now. I think they're nasty, but my dad and brothers LOVE them... stale.
TOO FUNNY!
Serene, you are weird. Stale circus peanuts are the nectar of the gods. Where did you get your taste in sugar/fat/no nutritional value? I don't even know if I know who you are anymore.
I'm glad you got the recipe down for circus peanuts. Buy some, open the bag, let sit on the counter for at least 48 hours, eat. One of my favorite recipes of all time. Good luck with the alumni thing. Mimi
No, I'm with Serene. I could think of a google of things I'd rather eat. So when's the assembly? I may be able to swing some hours, call in sick, whatever. No one would know I was there, either! Ha!
Um, Krista, you're acting like this is a new thought to you~that you might need to be in the assembly. YOU ARE ALREADY COMMITTED, DEAR! RING ON YOUR FINGER IN THE CELESTIAL ROOM COMMITTED! So do whatever it is you need to DO in order to take off work, or I'll hunt you down and drag you by your blond roots to the school of your youth. Just sayin'.
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