Thursday, April 1, 2010

POPLIAR

Mother Nature is a punk. Snow in April. 'Nuff said.

SOOOOOO...ANYWAY.....back to me. Guess what I got? Another blog award! I KNOW!!! Because I'm so stinkin' popliar! (Quick explanation)~When Jules was about four or five years old, she came stumbling in through the front doors with a broken heart and a new word. Popliar. As in, the older girls down the street told her that she was just trying to act "popliar"...when she CLEARLY was NOT popliar...so she should just stop trying to be popliar.

Little snots didn't even know how to pronounce the word, but they already knew plenty good how to annihilate pre-school self esteem. Wouldn't want four year old self worth to get out of hand. And though Julia knew NOTHING of what this word signified, she knew there was something horribly wrong if you WEREN'T on the list~a big yellow notepad which the girls actually carried around with them. They'd even take it out to recess, balancing it on a hip while they walked around, assessing prestige, and adding and erasing names at will. Basically, it was the playground (Hollywood) "A" list, and all of the neighborhood girls (stars) were hyper-alert about their notebook (celebrity) status.

Then, some of the girls decided that popliar was more like a synonym for rude. Like, "Oh my gosh...quit acting so popliar!" or "I hate to play with her. She's popliar all of the time." Kind of like when I was little and everybody called people IGNERNT. As in, "Oh my heck, he was so IGNERNT to me!" "You're the most IGNERNT sister! I'm telling Mom how IGNERNT you were to me in front of your friends!" We had no idea that WE WERE GLARINGLY IGNERNT OF OUR IGNERNCE.

Which makes me wonder...why can't WE decide that seemingly negative words are now positives? Or positives now negatives? Like couldn't we use the name Angelina Jolie to connote an unattractive woman? And would that change how the world sees her...and me...in comparison? For instance, "Oh. my. gosh. Um, tres Jolie? More like 'Angelina Jolie.'" Or how about, "She's got a Faniston. Um, yeah. Bad." (That would be a Jennifer Aniston fanny.)

I think I'm onto something here. It's the power of the emphasis. And the mean spirit. And the adversary. And OK, never mind.

Which brings us back to my TOTALLY meritorious BLOG AWARD. Didn't have to climb on a single dead body to get to the highest heights of the award mountain...BECAUSE THE ANGELS CARRIED ME ON THEIR GILDED WINGS!!! BECAUSE I'M ETHEREAL...AND HYSTERICAL...AND LIGHT AS A FEATHER, SO THEY HARDLY EVEN FELT MY WEIGHT AS I GRABBED ONTO THEIR ROBES WHEN THEY DID A FLY BY THAT NIGHT. They tried to shake me off like a booger, but I have a steely grip.

Anyway, thank you Krista, for noticing that Angelina and Jennifer pale in comparison to me...at least on some level...or possibly because you don't know them. But for whatever the reason, I'm grateful to have yet one more reason to wear my chandelier earrings another day.

Bless you!





10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I didn't even KNOW there was such a thing as "blog awards"!!! Congratulations!!! Is the diamond studded computer trophy on its way? Did you clear a spot for it on your mantel? Are the paparrazi coming because I'm gonna need some kind of beautification if I "happen" to be outside when they show up!

Speaking of paparrazi.....how was the pap smear? Have you signed up for the boob smoosher yet? Let me know and maybe we could do a 2 for 1 or I guess 4 for 1 :) Anony

Anonymous said...

I want to get my boobs smashed too! I have the paper to go do it...you wanna? huh? 3 for 1 deals are better than 2 for 1. I'm so impressed with your stardom...I'm not worthy, nor will I ever be worthy, to be in your presence again. You are so stinkin' cool! Love you to pieces...Heather

Lisa said...

HEY, this sounds pretty awesome. There's GOT to be strength and smoosh courage in numbers, right? I say we ALL go at the same time, and then have a little lunch afterward! LADIES WHO MAMMOGRAM AND LUNCH! We'll start a new society, like the purple hat society! SERIOUSLY. Let's talk. :)

Jennifer said...

Hey... I just thought of something.... I am a radiology tech.... I could DO the mammograms for us! Then it would truly be female bonding!

Cindy Geilmann said...

HEY, I totally get people like you and I love them. You can be my crazy friend.

Hugs
cindy@stitches

come visit

Lisa said...

Jen, that is QUITE AN OFFER. Can you even smoosh yourself? YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO A GINORMOUS GROUP MAMMOGRAM! LUNCH AND SHOPPING AFTERWARD! COME ONE, COME ALL!

Krista said...

I'd be in for the Mams in Masses. We could all cheer each other on, "You can do it! Suck it up! Be tough! Take one for the team! You're the breast - I mean best!" We could be like a Pap Club, I mean Pep Club. Then we could walk around looking like a freak tribe like Ubangis, but instead of plates in our lips, we'll look like we have plates in our boobs. What a visual! I can hear them clattering as we walk.

Krista said...

P.S. Did you figure out how to post your award? Call me and I'll help you. I finally posted my honorable awards on my sidebar. When I get some more smarts in my graphics classes I'll learn to make my own award and pass it on.

Mimi Sue said...

Congratulations on your award! I know mine mean a lot to me. (Is that pathetic?) Wait until your 50's and they want to do a colonoscopy...(you're gonna stick that WHERE??) One more thing to look forward too. Mimi

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Mimi at least they put you to sleep.
I love your NEW SOCIETY!