Thursday, April 22, 2010

STREAKING

So maybe it's the hormonal imbalance that I assume I'm suffering from right now. Or maybe it's just that EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING IS A FREAKIN' IDIOT. Not sure which. But most likely, it's that EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING IS A FREAKIN' IDIOT. Especially my husband's snore-head uvula. Clearly.

But I'll try to abstain from name calling from this point on. Going to focus on positives.

Ummmmm....hm. This is going to be a very, very, very short post.

Okay, here's one. I like crumbnut doughnuts. And though the taste is exquisite, the name is even more so. Crumbnut. Crumbnut, crumbnut, crumbnut. Worth buying a box just to say you're eating a crumbnut.

Let's see...okay, also I'm not so vexed with Sunshine anymore. I think Storm Cloud, with it's ENORMOUS RUMP, sat on our little Sunshine's beam. Finally, it pulled itself free and streaked naked across the sky...if only for a few moments. I don't fully trust it. Sunshine is kind of known for lying. But today, for right now, I'll graciously accept a few beams filtering through the "WHAT THE...?! ARE YOU LOST?!" snowflakes.

And that's about it, folks. Sorry. You caught me on an off day. And yes, I could have refrained from blogging, but that's not fair to you. My peeps. My BBFF's. My looking-through-the-window-of-her-computer-soul-to-find-out-the-essence-of-Lisa-chicks.

You're welcome.














16 comments:

Pearl said...

I love the Storm cloud with an ENORMOUS RUMP analogy. He needs to start exercising and get his enormous bottom out of here so that said sunshine rays are here to stay.

Maybe he can donate some of his rump to me, as this incurable disease is killing me (noassatall). It sure is dang hard to sit on my kitchen-chair-for-a-desk-chair and blog and web surf all day long!

kara elmore said...

So you ask me why I don't post. This post explains it .... you were having an "off" day. Which actually was HYSTERICAL! But MY off days (which we know have lasted a few months) are NOT hysterical. Thus - the reason I don't post.

You're funny when you're mad too.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

*snort*
I melt the snowflakes with my evil "You are from H***! So burn baby!" stare.

Neen said...

I think you need to blog about the fact that the Stake Pres. asked YOU to speak in the Adult session of conference! I know you will do a beautiful job.... Just wondering what will really come out of your mouth. I think he did it so we can tell everyone and the attendance will be through the roof!

See Mom Smile said...

I think crumbnuts is also what your hubby gets when he eats in bed.

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

wow Lisa...is it the Lortab??? Either your still on it or coming off it??? which? I agree though, somedays EVERYONE IDIOTS.

Better wear it off before your write your Adult session conference talk...and your Sterling needs to get his uvula CUT DOESNT HE? (No more snoring.) But no... men...they can't take operations like we can.

I think your the woman version of J Golden Kimball....is that why they flock...just to see if you might slip and cuss???

What's your subject?

Lisa said...

LInda, YES! One is better than the other to experience. Brenda and Neen, I think they do want to hear me, just out of curiosity. I may not want to disappoint them. Anybody have any suggestions for topics? They didn't give me a definite, just suggested one or two. I think that means we've got free reign and can just go hog wild!

sandra said...

I found your short post to be very entertaining and hilarious, I love to laugh out loud when I am reading something and you make me do that. I definately am not going to miss the adult session of stake conference, this will be so fun to look forward to now! hope your days/nights get better for you!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

A SUGGESTED one or two...for sure free reign subject!

Do they know about your hormones?

Mimi Sue said...

You'll be entertaining for sure. With or without the proper hormones. Our stk conf is coming up. Can I be so lucky as to have you in our stake? What was with that snow today? Mimi

Krista said...

Linda made me LOL! OMH! We need some retail therapy. How about some hellfire and damnation for your talk? You know, everyone elses cause you have your calling and election made sure, right? Duck! Another lightening bolt just went by!

Lisa said...

Oh, Krista. You know me so well. Of course it would be everyone else's hellfire and damnation. And I'm just the person to point out their faults and lack of righteous desires.

Mimi, I think you live in Kaysville, don't you? I'm in Syracuse. But you can always come visit, and bring a recording device to prove there was a reason the Stake Center burned down that night. :)

Pearl said...

Wait? YOU live in Syracuse?!? ME TOO!!

We've got to email and see where the other one lives, cuz I SOOO want to meet you! You are hilarious!

Sorry, I just re-read that, and it sounds sort of stalker-ish. Totally not a stalker and still want to meet you!

Lisa said...

Pearl, really? My email address is slacsjbing@hotmail.com Send me yours, or email me. Always kind of knew Syracuse was Zion and that the saints would meet up here eventually. :)

Anonymous said...

Speaking in Stake Conference calls for a new dress and shoes and a purse and diamonds don't ya think?!??!?

Anonymous said...

ps...the last post was from me....anony....totally forgot to sign it, I was soooo excited to hear that you will be speaking!