Friday, April 30, 2010


I'm speaking in the adult session of Stake Conference in less than 22 hours...and I know what you're thinking.


I do this waaaaaay too often. It has a name. Procrastination. But I prefer to call it by it's better known and recognized tag~the 'WHAT THE HE%$ WAS I THINKING?! '

I see you nodding your blog head. You've likely experienced this. It's when you find yourself organizing the potting soil, seed packets and sharpening the blades on the mower out in the garage...just in case somebody passes by and wants to inspect your lawn care paraphernalia on their way into the WEDDING SHOWER THAT I'M HOSTING IN LESS THAN AN HOUR AND THE BATHROOMS ARE STILL SPLATTERED WITH TEENAGE URINE AND THE SHEETS ARE STRIPPED OFF MY BED AND I'M EVEN NOW IN MY BATHROBE AND FORGOT TO BUY THE UTENSILS, AS WELL AS THE BRIDE'S GIFT AND IS IT TOO LATE TO ORDER THE BALLOONS, BREAD BOWLS AND SHEET CAKE AND WHAT THE HE%$ WAS I THINKING?

Yeah, that.

So I'm going RIGHT NOW to work on this talk. Don't try to stop me. It's time to focus and study and prepare to be a tool in the Lord's hands. I can do this, people. I can. I've seen other people do it, so I know it's possible.

(doing the runner's hand flick and neck crack)

(breathing in and out in deep cleansing breaths)

(taking the sprinters position)

Get ready...get set...and...Oh, hey, did I tell you that my assembly coverage was on the front page of the local newspaper? I know! And Amberlee was doing the splits, and my brother Chris was in it TWICE and they didn't interview me, but that's OK, cuz I was running around wild backstage, mullet............jock dance off............wasting more time............don't expect much tomorrow night.................can't be trusted by the Lord.................bright shiny objects............I'll work on it tomorrow................

..............what the he%$ was I thinking.............


Anonymous said...

hahahahaha! Procrastination is my middle name. No, really,it is! Ok, maybe not really, but it should be!

You'll do fine! I find I get my best ideas when I'm up against a deadline. You pulled off a fabulous assembly, you can pull of a dinky talk ;)


Krista said...

That's as bad as the dream that I had last night. I was having some "party plan" party at my house and there were lots of people there and the house was an absolute dog pit. And I was fretting because of all the mess around. Only yours isn't a dream and what the hell were you thinking?

Amy said...

Yea, Lisa...I'm sitting here working on my talk too. What is your topic?
I told Mike if I had to talk at Stake Conference, I needed to look good so I went and bought me two new outfits :) I spent a lot of time shopping, I know I could of been working on my talk, but I goota feel good to sound good. RIGHT? tNow, which one should I wear? I really need to practice my talk!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Alot of HIGH ANXIETY running around this place of blue and shoe!
I'll pray for you...that means STILL practice your talk!

And do you really think your shower guest check to see how clean your sheets I am really wondering what are you thinking?

Not easy mowing lawn in this snowy rain either. But you can do hard things, I know that.

Hey, thats neat being in the local paper, they missed out by not interviewing you though.

Lisa said...

Amy, that was my VERY FIRST THOUGHT as I was actually sitting in the chair across from the Stake President, "I'll need a new outfit." And then Anony told me that I also need diamonds and shoes, too, so that's even MORE reason to speak. Topic? Not really sure. But I AM going to the temple this morning and something should occur to my pea brain in there. Right?

Faith without works? Never heard of it.

Brenda, I think your prayer, along with the temple, should be about all I need. If I end up empty, I blame you.

Thanks Pearl...and Krista, I know! What?!

McClendon said...

Are we actually related in ANY way at all? If I don't have a talk or my weekly Sunday School lesson prepared in detail at least a month ahead, I will probably take a lethal dose of something. Preposterous, you say to yourself, but I am teaching lesson 15 this week and I have lessons 16-20 prepared and on the computer, as we speak. Oh, wait. We're not really speaking, are we? I guess I have more Rice genes than you. Is this a contest?

Good luck on the talk and congratulations on the assembly.

Natalie said...

I love ya!!

Natalie said...

I can't wait to hear what you have spent countless hours in fasting and prayer so my hungry spirit can be fed.

Cindy Geilmann said...

Oh my goodness, your crazy girl. Where's your focus? First Faith, then the miracle! However, faith without works is dead! Get on your knees, and focus, and act with faith as you write your thoughts down. THEN THE MIRACLE. I wish I could be there. I really, really, do!

Big Hugs

Mimi Sue said...

I think it's one of the commandments. You speak, you get a new outfit. Including shoes. At least at my house. Diamonds would be a nice touch too. I'm sure you'll do (or have you already done?) a great job. Mimi

Lisa said...

Mimi, you're right. That's one more reason to love the gospel.

Cindy, I was joking about not working on this talk. It's consumed me since they asked me to give it.

Pauline, that Rice gene mostly skipped me, probably because Uncle Donald and my dad took most of the worry/leave two hours early or don't go at all genetics.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Ha ha ha! I bet you were awesome.

And I ALWAYS procratinate! Like now, I should be getting my daughter ready for school. Instead, I'm catching up on blogs!

See Mom Smile said...

I would pay to get into that session of conference. Hope it went well.