Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Me~"You ready to go on your week long camping trip, son?"

Son~"Yup. All ready. Totally packed. See ya."

Me~"Wait. Where's your luggage?"

Son~"Right here. (referring to fanny pack around his waist) See ya."

Me~"Wait. Give me a rundown of what you packed."

Son~"All the stuff I was supposed to. See ya."

Me~"Wait. Specifics. Where's your pillow?"

Son~"I don't need one. I can roll up the edge of my sleeping bag and it'll be fine. See ya."

Me~(eyeroll)~"Wait. You want to go the entire week with your head flat on the...never mind. Idiot. Did you pack your swimsuit?"

Son~"Yeah. I mean no. I have these shorts. It'll be fine. See ya."

Me~"Wait. Dear, you're going to Lake Powell...on a house boat...that's a floating house, because it's sitting on a body of water."

Son~(eyeroll)~"Okay. Geez. I'll pack it. Done. See ya."

Me~"Wait. How about underwear?"

Son~"Yeah. I mean...yeah I did. See ya."

Me (sensing a sin of omission)~"Wait. How many?"

Son (smearing his lips while he spoke)~"mphonemph. See ya."

Me~"Wait. What? Did you say one?"

Son~(eyeroll)~"Mom, it's a bunch of guyeeeees."

Me~(eyeroll eyeroll eyeroll)~"Oh. my. he$%. Are you kidding me? They're probably the pair you're wearing. (they were) Go get more. NOW!"

Son~"Okay. Geez. See ya." (shoves one (1) more pair into side pocket)

When I mentioned to Sterling that I had to fight his son to bring an extra pair of boxers, husband's reply was this~

"Well, he'll be singing praises to Sweet Jesus and his mother, won't he now, when he sharts his first pair."

And that right there is why I love my husband.

*Shart~intention to force a flatulent, (fart) without realizing there is more to it than meets the eye, (diarrhea) resulting in "sharting" one's pants. Also known as a G.A.L., or "gambled and lost."


kara Elmore said...


I'm guessing no tooth brush either.

One Cluttered Brain said...

oh my!!
Maybe you should have just let him go with what he packed and he'll find out the hard way. LOL.
it is a good thing he has you to help him from staying stinky the whole trip.)
And you are so right, if he does happen to foop himself, (foop=fart/poop) i made it up, :) he is gonna need an extra pair of undies.
i wanna go to!!
Take me.

Have you heard that there is gonna be a blogger party in Phoenix AZ?
Caroline is hosting it.
Dinner and networking.
Small cost for dinner. but certainly NOT 175.
june 26th.
I really wanna go but probably would have to carpool to save money on gas.
And a hotel? hopefully there are cheap hotels in Phoenix. Hmm. R U up for a road trip? :)

Krista said...

Oh my freakin' Hannah! That is hilarious! And where was his toothbrush, I ask? Probably didn't need that either since it was just a bunch of boys.

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Love the conversation of frustrated mother and son...don't worry, his children will do the same!
Sterling is a comfort, yes love him! (deep inside he is worrying about sons 2 pair underwear, men just can't say outloud).
Hope he doesnt FOOP alot...but you know he will...boys have to OUT FOOP each other all the DANG TIME!

Anonymous said...

Gross and funny at the same time.

Jackie said...

But more funny than gross I say.

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

That's why I read this blog. The vocabulary lessons! Yessss!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Okay, AFTER you get your line of make-up up and running, you'll just have to re-write the dictionary!

Holly said...

ROFL!! Yep!! STILL laughing!! ;p (((HUGS)))

reasonably chubby said...

Hahahaha! I loved it! :) I only have daughters who of course always need three suitcases each, and that's just for their shoes and makeup...but at least they are prepared in case they shart. Boys...downright dirty and disgusting, and lovable.

See Mom Smile said...

Bwahahaha! I just had to pack 3 boys for Scout Camp. I had the eye rolling too when shoved more underwear in their bags.