Friday, June 18, 2010

BEIGE ROSES

So I was reading about "Provident Living." I know! Snore. But I thought I should read it, because that's what good and wise homemakers do, in order that we might prove our good and wise ways to others, thereby making them feel inferior to us and our righteous hardship/provident living lifestyle. Duh.

So I'm just gonna say it...could these people be any more beige? I submit not. And as I read their stories and threw up in my mouth, I could see them in my minds eye. These peeps are sooooo unattractive, folks, you have no idea. Besides the fact that they babble about eating peanut butter and jelly regularly, still using beat up old college furniture and avocado green appliances without handles, as well as only shopping thrift stores for necessities, I imagine they also have sister wife hairstyles, round toed vinyl shoes with chewed up heels and newspaper dresses...but that's just my mind's eye. It sees what it wants to see, friends. I can't change that.

Anyway, I couldn't help but think that this is not quite what Heavenly Father had in mind when he created us. I do believe the scripture goes something like, "Men are that they might have joy..." Not camel-toe in high waisted acid washed thrift store jeans. And just why is provident living synonymous to sacrifice and deprivation rather than creating and flourishing?

If you tell me to bake a loaf of bread because it's sinful to buy Wonderbread, well, you just ruined everything. I. Want. Wonderbread. Dammit.

But if you show me a gorgeous, golden brown loaf of homemade bread, steaming right out of the oven with a fresh bowl of whipped honey butter ready to spread...AHHHHH, HEAVEN ON EARTH, PEOPLE! BRING ME MY APRON!

If you tell me to make my children's clothes out of necessity, and that it's wrong to buy brand new anything, well, joy sucking just occurred.

But if you show me an heirloom blessing dress with tatting and pink embroidered rosebuds on the white cotton smocked bodice?...OH. MY. TARNATION! WHERE IS THE NEEDLE AND THREAD?

Tell me to decorate my house from items purchased at the D.I. because it's cheap? Yeah, well, you're dead to me.

But if you show me how I can make something FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC using a hot glue gun, a can of spray paint and somebody's old used up something or other...well, that there is a WHOLE~NOTHER~BALLGAME! I BECOME A DOMESTIC GODDESS, hand in hand with my Heavenly Father who gave me a soul full of creative juices meant to be used up...not dried out.

Anyway, my point is this...Women are that they might have joy. And some of our best joy is brought to us courtesy of our Divine Nature~meaning we create, we nourish, we evolve, we progress.

And did you know that Provident actually means "preparing for the future?" Mm hmm. It does. There is nothing in there about stripping the color and wonder from our homes or lives, in order that we might be considered more righteous. Far as I can tell, if I want my future to BLOSSOM AS A ROSE, I've got some providenting to do!

NOW BRING ME MY SPADE AND GARDEN GLOVES! I'VE GOT TO GET TO WORK!

(And in my garden, there is no such thing as a beige rose. Just sayin'.)









14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sooooo.....ya bakin' bread today? ;) Anony

Garden of Egan said...

Uhm, I sorta love you!
Just sayin'

I can't believe you hit the nail on the head with the beige rose! Ya!

I need to go so I can change the sister/wife hairdo I got goin' on. I'm gonna repent and get out the hot glue gun!

Lisa said...

Anony, um no. And I kind of feel guilty about that. Maybe some divinity for the ward party? We'll see...if you get all your chores done. Now go get to Relief Societing.

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

Sing it sistuh...

One question. Where's all the cool stuff these people are always yacking about at DI? Can't find it. All I see is weird old stuff.

Sign me,
Hopeless

Krista said...

I remember this discussion in the car - brown and beige. It belongs under our feet. Color describes your personality and if you are a beige person - who wants to look like all the other beige (aka taupe) people - then you can wake up to the color of mud. But as for you and I Lisa - we dare to be different. Inside and out.

Krista said...

PS. What the heck is Provident Living? Is this a magazine? I hope you don't have a subscription.

Holly said...

LOL!! SO GREAT!! I think you should SHOW everybody your PROGRESS once a week in your blog. You know, SHOW us HOW it's done with ALL the bright colors of the rainbow. Krista NEEDS to be your assistant. I KNOW... the 2 of you could co-author a blog you post to weekly... "Providence: In LIVING COLOR" Hehe!! I'd DEFINITELY subscribe!! You 2 would be MUCH more entertaining and informative as to REALITY and Domestic Goddessdom! Work on that and get back 2 me... Love & (((HUGS)))

One Cluttered Brain said...

MMm. I want some homemade bread now!
DEE-LISH!
Is Provident living a magazine?

Kara Elmore said...

Crazy enough (call me preggo sister) this post actually made me tear up. Mostly because it makes me sad when women don't understand their true potential. (now - disclaimer coming... serious comment from kara). If they understood what they COULD become on their own, they would flourish like a rose in a desert. (UHHH notice a DESERT is BROWN? And we were told this valley would flourish like a ROSE in it????) Anyway - women get really caught up in what OTHERS are ... and instead of realizing what THEY could be - they get on the "band wagon" of what's popular. Whether it be multi sports for the entire family to be torn apart week after week after saturday after saturday ... or the color brown because "everyone is doing it - why shouldn't we?" See what you can do for YOURSELF - by YOURSELF and you will love yourself. And you will see yourself as our Heavenly Father does.

And HOLY CRAP - spray paint goes a LONG WAY to beautiful the ugly. Remember when we talked about spray painting the brown rocks? uh huh ... that's next on our list.

Jackie said...

Amen. That is all. Just that I agree. With everything.

AMEN! (As my two year old shouts all through sacrament meeting.)

Mimi Sue said...

You are one good and wise domestic goddess for sure. And you are exactly and completely correct. Mimi

reasonably chubby said...

I loved this post! Just look at how colorful and creative God Himself is...and how generous and vast and awesome all of His creation is! I refuse to live a teeny-tiny tight fisted life. Instead may we all use our talents for His glory and dream bigger dreams than we ever thought possible. That's the kind of life that causes us to throw ourselves in utter dependence on Him. Because we know we can't do it on our own. It takes faith to live a big, joyful, happy, colorful life!

Amy said...

Oh my gosh. You crack me up every time!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh girl, you are SO ON IT!
D.I. furniture? *shudder*