Thursday, June 10, 2010

WEDDING

I have returned from a lovely family wedding where the fun sucking rain (do NOT say this five times, fast), DRENCHED us on our way into the ceremony and then promptly scurried away like a scurvy little spider, leaving a pile of drowned rats in Sunday best, to pose for wedding pictures.

Speaking of spiders, there was a Granddaddy tarantula trying to find it's way out of some gentleman's nostrils. Either that, or his wife is BLIND AS A BAT and failed to mention (scream) that he needed to TRIM HIS FREAKIN' SALT AND PEPPER NOSE HAIRS. But I'm still inclined to think aging tarantula. Hard to prove, either way.

Bought and ate a pound of fudge while we waited for the luncheon. Gained five pounds in my neck and fingers swelled up like Jimmy Dean sausages. And I don't know about you, but I feel kind of irritated and lied to by the fudge making elfins.

Course, the best part of today was that I finally got to wear my fantastic sling back PUMPS. The ones I purchased a couple of years ago without any idea of what I could wear them with, but having a sure knowledge that just like Snow White's Prince Charming, SOMEDAY, my coordinating outfit would come. And it did, people. It did. Never give up on your shoes.

If you buy them, they will come.

Anyway, I wore the hell out of the beautiful creatures and, I'm ashamed to say, like a straw slurping up admiration, nothing left over for the newlyweds..........poor dears. I felt so bad for them, since they'd gotten all dressed up and everything, so I made sure to splash the attention dregs their way.................by pointing my floral linen pumps in their direction.

AND YES, I DID SAY FLORAL LINEN PUMPS!!!

I KNOW!!!!

IS IT ANY WONDER THE BRIDE FADED INTO THE BACKGROUND LIKE 1980'S WALLPAPER?

So to sum up~actually, I'm too tired to sum up. Good day. Time for bed. Nite.



8 comments:

T said...

I have an amazing pair of pumps that I've owned for two years... I think they still only match one t-shirt... so pumps and jeans just has to do until that magical outfit day comes!

Krista said...

Lisa, you're always stealing the limelight. You deserve it. Brides may try, but you, your pristine self, those shoes that made even Cinderella want to lie about being hers. You go sporting your bad self and you know what they say, "If you got it, flaunt it." So when are we getting together again? I think you need a little one on one tutoring which I would be more than happy to assist you with.

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Once again...never letting us down with your days adventures...off to weddings in pouring rain, men who look like hairy spiders...flaunting your shoes at us so we will be tempted to join in your addiction because i never thought to BUY THEM and they will come.
did you say its time for bed...it's 2:30 p.m. when you wrote this Princess Lisa?
Congratulations to the unsuspecting newlyweds, of course the honeymoon they say lasts 3 years.

One Cluttered Brain said...

You had some pretty amazing pumps at CBC too.
You are a high heel wonderwoman in my book!!

So stylish!

kara Elmore said...

I will sum it up for you ....

ALWAYS ... ALWAYS out-do the bride w/ floral linen pumps. Just like when I wore my BIG A** FLOWER on my head for our cousin's wedding reception. I KNEW all eyes would be on ME and my GIANT flower on my head. SO much so that the bride AND the groom commented on it. See - I did it ... as did you. PROUD> PROUD day for the wood girls.

picture?

Pearl said...

Wow. How do you deal with all the attention you get from your glamorous self? People must be flocking to you and smothering you to death! Teach me, I beg, TEACH ME! I tend to be the one that wants to blend in with the 1980's wallpaper...just so no one notices me.

Garden of Egan said...

You are pretty hilarious!
I feel so sorry for the dreary homely bride.
You might stop getting invites ya know.

Good luck on the sausage fingers. I hear they are become the new rage.

Jackie said...

SHOW US THE SHOES LISA! SHOW US THE SHOES!