Tuesday, June 1, 2010

FIESTA


Woke up this morning to a horrible after-party Feee-esta! in my mouth. Last night we married onion and garlic~which seemed a good idea at the time~but ended up being SUCH an unholy union. You have no idea. There was Salsa, Salsa and more Salsa, as Beans and Velveeta played WELLLLLLLL into the night.

Anyway, you did NOT want to be a dead fly on our bedroom floor this morning, as the green air swirled and hissed, writing "RED RUM" on our mirrors...only to attempt escape when the door was swung open by our unsuspecting child ready for morning prayer. I opened my mouth to speak, and melted son's face right off. We ended up having an impromptu exorcism. Kind of exciting.

So did I tell you all about the CAPTIVATING, ENCHANTING, MOST BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS LISA RAINCOAT that was screaming my name inside the treasure chest called "Nordstrom Rack?" Krista and Linda were with me upon seizure~they witnessed it's perfection. And I grabbed it and tucked it under my armpit, because some other HIDEOUSLY UNDESERVING shoppers were eyeing it also, but repelled and backed away as soon as I licked it. Seems both my rivals AND raincoat were moisture proof.

Anyway, I brought her home and pulled her out the next morning to play. We danced and twirled as I hugged her to my bosom. And then I slipped her on. And by slipped, I mean WRENCHED, as I suddenly morphed into Chris Farley from Tommy Boy, while the whole house full of onlookers had the exact same lyrics, sing songing through their heads...

"FAT MOM IN A LITTLE COOOOAT! FAT MOM IN A LITTLE COOOOOAT!"

That's right. Fat.

Seems the damm raincoat must run small.

Shut up.





11 comments:

One Cluttered Brain said...

Oh NO!
Nuts!
I LOVE the way you talk Lisa on your blog.
Yup, I have to use your name at least 3 times, Lisa, so I can remember it.

I have a bootiful pic of you and me, posted it on FB, then promptly fergot your name.

Ahem. Lisa.

Nice to know YOU.

I so HAVE to put you on my blog roll. ;)

Krista said...

You could always just hang it by the door and pretend it fits, meanwhile looking cute as a part of your decore. Just an idea. If you drive back down let me know. I may need to go and lick some shoes.

See Mom Smile said...

Love the Chris Farley reference. You coud bring the coat to the next bloggers conference for a giveaway. A giveaway that I WON"T win. LOVED spending time with you and Krista.

annie said...

I am loving the visual!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Coveting your jacket lisa...darn, when you said it didnt fit you...then there was no chance It would fit me...and I had already licked it in my mind and worn it to work.

Sorry about the side affects of your Memorial day Fiesta...poor children. Lots of plastic surgery for son...bad summer ahead.

Think of me when you go back for the largest size in that roses jacket!
Krista go get them there shoes.

T said...

I can't believe I left town without even walking into Nordstrom Rack... of course, ManOfTheHouse is praising my willpower (hey, what he doesn't know about all the OTHER spending won't hurt him)

Mimi Sue said...

Well, I know for a fact that they're making clothes waaayyy smaller than they used to. Must be the bad economy. Saving on fabric and all. Salsa is worth a few casualties don't you think? Mimi

Pearl said...

Lovely coat. And loved the visual.

P.S. No lie, the word verification was "scruf" funny

reasonably chubby said...

Haha! I feel your pain. Lately, after entering Paula Deen's cream cheese recipe contest, it seems all my clothes are 'running small'. :) I've had that breath you're speaking of-cleared malls, bad traffic, busy movie lines with one long huff.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

*snort* I love you.

Holly said...

My closet of many sizes makes me relate too well to this... *sigh*
Thanks for changing my perspective... instead of looking in the mirror and crying of my loss of fashion for THAT day... That song will ring in my mind and make me laugh... and think of YOU!! ((HUGS))