Woke up this morning to a horrible after-party Feee-esta! in my mouth. Last night we married onion and garlic~which seemed a good idea at the time~but ended up being SUCH an unholy union. You have no idea. There was Salsa, Salsa and more Salsa, as Beans and Velveeta played WELLLLLLLL into the night.
Anyway, you did NOT want to be a dead fly on our bedroom floor this morning, as the green air swirled and hissed, writing "RED RUM" on our mirrors...only to attempt escape when the door was swung open by our unsuspecting child ready for morning prayer. I opened my mouth to speak, and melted son's face right off. We ended up having an impromptu exorcism. Kind of exciting.
So did I tell you all about the CAPTIVATING, ENCHANTING, MOST BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS LISA RAINCOAT that was screaming my name inside the treasure chest called "Nordstrom Rack?" Krista and Linda were with me upon seizure~they witnessed it's perfection. And I grabbed it and tucked it under my armpit, because some other HIDEOUSLY UNDESERVING shoppers were eyeing it also, but repelled and backed away as soon as I licked it. Seems both my rivals AND raincoat were moisture proof.
Anyway, I brought her home and pulled her out the next morning to play. We danced and twirled as I hugged her to my bosom. And then I slipped her on. And by slipped, I mean WRENCHED, as I suddenly morphed into Chris Farley from Tommy Boy, while the whole house full of onlookers had the exact same lyrics, sing songing through their heads...
"FAT MOM IN A LITTLE COOOOAT! FAT MOM IN A LITTLE COOOOOAT!"
That's right. Fat.