Friday, October 9, 2009

BIRTH

Already on my third batch of caffeine today. The first two didn't take. Must have been duds. I know, I was skeptical too. But you can't argue with lethargy. It doesn't argue back anyway~just sits there with eyes rolling back in its head.

The reason for needing to be hyper-alert? Taz is coming for a visit. And by visit, I mean tornado/whirlwind/typhoon/tsunami/hurricane or any other natural disaster you can envision. I'm boarding up my windows and nailing down furniture now. Can't be too careful.

As a side note, the mailbox is being created once again and should be born sometime this afternoon. I'm going to buy some onesies for it. With polka dots. And a giant hair bow. Because, as so many things in life, my ability to accessorize is a representation of my worth and I will not be mocked. Or if I am, it will not be because my mailbox is bald.

I do have standards, you know.


10 comments:

Kara Elmore said...

If I would've known Taz was this way .... I would've sent her over there LONG AGO!

Honestly - I feel bad for you. I feel bad that you will need FOUR doses of some type of caffeine to recoop from what you are about to experience. I personally think she'll sleep MUCH better there ... so I'm choosing NOT to come get her like promised. Oops. I ALSO believe that you should take pictures of her and the destruction/and/or/callitwhatitshouldbe so you can PROVE that she is NOT innocent like some believe. Her 1970's hair get up today should NOT be a distraction.

But it's because we decorate her. Adorn her with pretty glittery things. To draw people's eyes AWAY from what's really happening. Destruction. Happy - happy - full to the brim.

And with THAT I say GOOD LUCK SISTER OF MINE!

Lisa said...

She's sitting on my lap right now, leaving buttery finger prints all over the computer screen. We made a giant batch of "teenies." You'll have to ask your children what they are and make sure to make them when you return to browntown.

Anonymous said...

It looks as though the "new addition" is "crowning"!!! Thanks for the laughs!
love ya...Maren

Lisa said...

Crowning! Ha! You know, I wouldn't know if that's what it looked like for my own children, as I refused to allow them to place that mirror anywhere near my posterior.

So glad you figured out how to leave comments. A desperate plea..."PLEASE LEAVE MORE." Makes me feel like I matter.

Anonymous said...

Lisa....

Kim Larsen told me about your blog... I was not disapointed! You have not changed in 23 years! You need to write a book; you are hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh and feel so good about the 3 pound bags of Dove Chocoletes and swedish fish I purchased the day I read your blog!

Keep writing!
Angie Garrett

Anonymous said...

I just looked at that comment and laughed at my inability to spell check!

Lisa said...

Ang,

So glad you like the blog. But even MORE happy that you admitted to buying a three pound bag of Dove Chocolates and Swedish fish. I can die happy now.

"Take me home, Lord. It can't get better than this." Wait. Yes it can. Tell me your house is dirty and you are sitting in your pajamas while reading this.

Anonymous said...

Lisa.....

My house is a mess! I've returned from Jr. High carpool and Im back in bed reading your blog. I will doze off and take my morning nap with the telephone by my side in case the husband calls and I can quickly clear my throat, answer the phone and pretend I've been up canning grape juice, doing the wash and scrubbing the toilets..... since 6 am when he walked out the door! Then curl up and nap a little more! Feel better Lis?

Lisa said...

Oh my H, Ang, you have NO idea how much better I feel! You clear your throat, too? That is just the best news I've had all day. Thank you for sharing, even if it was a big fat lie just to make me feel less inferior. :)

Anonymous said...

No lie! 100% Honest! I am way past those days of trying to be Shirley or Lucile.... I am just happy to be lazy old ME!