Friday, February 5, 2010

GREATER GOOD

I'm going to go out on a limb here and "suggest" that Cheetos may not be A) Nutritionally sound B) Free of additives and C) Made of actual food. However, and this is really all that matters, they ARE A) Scrumptious B) Alluring with their 'come hither' crunch and C) On sale 3 for $5, which means I MAY HAVE bought...and POSSIBLY ate...all three bags by myself. But you probably can't prove it, unless you perceive the suspicious orange tint on the end of my nose. But I'll just say it's from eating too many bottles of carrot baby food.

Course, I can fix it with almonds, people, and I am in the process of doing so, if you'll just quit questioning my intent. Yes, this brown slobber is from Hershey's kisses. But what you DON'T know is that there are almonds inside of them and I'm just doing whatever is necessary to get that goodness in me.




Sorry for the long pause~
I was just interrupted from my musings with a collect phone call from my first born son. He's in an airport in Los Angeles, waiting to climb on another plane and settle in for a 12 1/2 hour flight to Brazil. Good times await him, friends. Good, comfortable, head bobbing and leg stretching times.

And forgive me if this blog is sopping wet with angel mother tears, as I feel as if he's lost to me all over again. I didn't want to hang up the phone~even having "toll charges" running wild and threatening to tattle-tell in my brain. Funny how I didn't find his voice nearly as endearing when he lived here. Probably because it was usually demanding something...like gas for his car, or a later curfew, or for the Earth's axis to go directly through him. But now...well, now he's gone. And I would give my last bag of Cheetos and handful of chocolate coated almonds to hold him once again in my arms...and swing him in the tree swing in his summer pajamas...and run my fingers through his wispy bowl-cut hair...and listen to him talk about tools and trucks and biting baby brothers with fluffy baby-lip lisp.

But I finally did hang up the phone, with a lump in my throat and a crack in my voice as I told him to "have a wonderful mission."

Then closed my weeping eyes tightly and immediately told the only person I could think of about my sorrow...My Heavenly Father.

He knows. He gave his son up for a greater good, too.

And so I say goodbye all over again.




14 comments:

Cindy Geilmann said...

Ok, what is rabbit poop ice??????????

I'm visiting you from Just a bed of roses. I know exactly what you are going through. I've sent 3 missionaries out. It's been one of the greatest times in my life. Big mom Hugs to you!

come visit me!
cindy@stitches

Melissa said...

So instead of laughing and your blogs today you made me cry a happy tear. Love you!

Neen said...

I feel your pain Lis. But just think, he's that much closer to being that huble boy you always knew he could be. I'm so glad you got to talk to him!!! .....Just so you know..... I finished off some fabelous icecream just now JUST FOR YOU. It totally cancled out your consumption of caleries. I'd do anything for you.... No need to thank me.

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

tears...I'll comment tomorrow! I think I need that sleep you keep talking about.

Lisa said...

Thank you, dear friends. Cindy, I've visited and just read your tales of losing your daughter. So very sorry.

On a lighter note, rabbit poop ice is that FREAKIN' AWESOME NUGGET ICE that they sell at Sonic.

Neen, you're so good to me. And even though you say it's not necessary, I still feel the need to thank you PROFUSELY for giving of yourself in my behalf. :)

Krista said...

Oh, Lisa! I can't imagine what it's like. My mom wasn't a member and my friend Peggy's mom took me to the MTC. She told everyone I was her missionary. She passed away while I was in England and my oldest daughter has her middle name. Your son will grow in so many ways. He's in very good hands. <3 You may need some stronger stuff than Hersey's though. Remember to spit out the cockroach content.

Ster said...

I Married Well Above Myself! I Love you Hon!

Lisa said...

Oh, hon! You commented! You MUST love me. :) How's your teeth? AAAGGHHHHHH!!!!

Krista, I DID need something stronger than the Hershey's, so I DIDN'T spit out the cockroaches. Kind of like drinking the worm in the tequila, right?

Anonymous said...

You got me all choked up when you talked about swinging him in the tree swing in his pajamas! I sure didn't expect to start bawling when I read your blog! THANKS ALOT!!! Seriously though, thanks for sharing your mommy feelings. He WILL have a WONDERFUL mission because he has WONDERFUL parents who raised him well.

Now I'm off to push my 12 year old son in our swing but I'm thinking it won't be such a beautiful memory as it was when he was 3.

Love you...Anony

Erica said...

Well, I owe you one, THAT'S for sure. Here I sit, imagining my own blondee-in-a-bowl-cut son, out serving the Lord unawares of his, how did you put it? Angel mother, was it? Yes, his Angel Mother's tears. It's all good and mostly the tears are of gratitude, but the Lord pierces my heart every now and again with a 'let me remind you why you're a mother and that you love as only a mother can' cry fest. He gives me friends like you that put it into words I understand and can relate to; words that fill my heart and soul with more gratitude and more love for both my son, my Father in Heaven and friends like you! So thank you. And really ... YOu owe ME after this particular cry fest (I was, after all, trying to watch Lost, for heaven's sake!!)...how about you buy me windshield wipers for my computer monitor? You know, for when this happens again...and again...and - well, you get me, right? I love you. I and I feel your pain. :)

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

I agree with erica...that your words help us to understand and relate to. And angel mother tears...what sweet words.
Your dear husband...with his comment, loved. just wondering though...did he go out and buy something big since you wrote this?( like a big diamond for You or you a Motorcycle?
Love the windshield wiper idea...for the computer and why dont you patent that...or at least give us the alert/warning at the first of your post that we need to turn them on!
Cheetos...I can never buy those things...IF I did...I too would eat every one in 3 bags.
Hope your looking more like a sunburn now instead of a carrot.
Love you...know your heart is so good.

kara elmore said...

i....
can't ....
even .....
catch ....
my ............
breath!!

I am weeping uncontrollably. And for many reasons. First of all - you started your blog off w/ talking about food and I threw up. And then it turned to ashy. And I remembered what he looked like in his summer pj's and his bowl cut hair and his sweet little voice. And then I thought of my own children - and how I whisk them away from me so quickly while i'm on the computer because they're bugging me. And I'm so quick to take them to school and tell them to go play and so quick to say 'OH MY WORD - STOP TALKING TO ME!'

SO I spoke a little calmer to my children just now and looked at them more loving. And when I want to lock them out of the house tomorrow .. I'll read this post in stead.

You did a fine job raising him ... the finest I know. You truly are a MOTHER WHO KNOWS!

Neen said...

Kara, That was wonderful! Yes, Lisa is a MOTHER WHO KNOWS!!!

Lisa said...

Aw, you all are too kind. No, really. Not being sarcastic. Love you all. Funny how it crosses all generations of child rearing~we've all felt it. I just wish I had a city like Enoch, because surely with all of your praise, I'd have been lifted up by now. And I'd let all of YOU live there, too, so you could enjoy the fruits of your kind words. :)