Monday, February 22, 2010

WHORISH KNITS

A beautiful blue platter from "Just a Bed of Roses," that I painted. Hey, if real ones aren't blooming yet, you make them yourself! Necessity is the mother of invention.



Hi, peeps! It's sunshiny! And you can thank me later about having a prayer/talk with Heavenly Father about that. I've got connections. We're pretty tight~like this~(fingers trying to cross together, but not very successful, because with age comes a surprising lack of finger agility) Sometimes, when things have gotten out of hand here on the Earth, I have to mention it. For His sake. Wouldn't want a bunch of angry children murmuring against their Creator.

"Dear Heavenly Father," I begin...and then it gets a little bit less respectful from there. He sometimes chuckles and humors me. Other times, He throws down a little crap on the face, just to remind me that it could be~OR GET~waaaaay worse. And that's always good for a humbling reprieve so he can get a few things done before I start up again. But all in all, He's very good to listen to me, even when I end every sentence by going up, down, up. That's a whine, in case you don't have a nine year old daughter for reference. You can borrow mine if you've forgotten what it sounds like. No, no trouble at all. I've already got her in the box, just punching a few...more...air...holes. THERE! Now I just need an address. Post it in your comments and I'll send her out today. Or I can just look you up in the phone book. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way~doesn't matter to me. Just get ready to sign for her when she arrives.

But as I was saying, it's sunny!!! Thus, like a tick backing out of a dog's bum, here I am! And just in time, it seems,...for EASTER CANDY HAS ARRIVED! Cadbury eggs and microwaved peeps (not YOU peeps, marshmallow peeps! Silly peeps!) have been lying dormant in my mind, but now have been set freeeeee, hair tossing in the wind, white dresses billowing in the breeze, as they run through a field of flowers and into my outstretched arms...and GIANT OPEN MOUTH, BEARING RAZOR SHARP TEETH AND DROOLING IN ANTICIPATION OF RIPPING AND TEARING OFF THE FIRST PEEP HEAD AND BUNNY EARS OF THE SEASON. It's almost spiritual.

Also, about to come to pass is the making of the Easter dress! Which in the past, has entailed beautiful, ethereal white embroidered cotton and rose smocking, with patent shoes and purse to match. I know. I can barely see with these memory stars in my eyes. But looks like THIS year, THIS YEAR, what with angel babe beating the hell out of her femininity every day, I'll be trolling the whorish knits and bedazzled tennis shoes. QUICK, SOMEBODY GRAB ME A BUCKET!!! (gag, gag, wretch, hurl)

(Wiping my mouth)~So, anyway, looks like the storm clouds have started rolling back in and Heavenly Father might be done "listening." For now. But it's Okay. I'll be alright.

My Easter Candy is still here for me~galloping in white cotton dresses and patent shoes through the tulips and daffodils.

And chocolate never wears whorish knits.







10 comments:

Ster said...

Thank you for your strong base to hold all of the hell i hurl your direction. I LOVE YOU!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Oh Lisa, I was so impressed starting out with your Painting talent I didn't know existed, just knew sewing Lisa...You didnt even tell me when You bought the platter, you must have wanted to SUPRISE me with a picture, how nice.

Then you proceed to almost knock me off the chair with laughter as you are putting your daughter in a box to ship...still we are family but you do not know our address, thanks anyway. I'm sure she's precious, just not into fluff anymore. I can only handle fluff. (well,not really).
And then I fell off, must fix these old chair legs, when I had to visualize the tick.

And read this blog more than once...so now my spaghetti noodles have boiled all over the stove.

Your just too much...you owe me a cleaning lady now! She can come anytime.

Krista said...

My nine year old just got herself grounded for the week for her nasty little remarks to the woman who spent seven hours in labor with her. I'm telling you - do you wanna trade them for a couple of days and then we can use that for leverage for a few years? Like "Wife Swap" but more like "Brat Swap". I always think of you with Cadbury Cream Eggs. At that Little Taste of Britain, they have a candy bar that is like them. I think it's called Cadbury Cream Eggs Bar. You better check it out! Lets go together!

Lisa said...

Brenda, aren't I just a DELIGHT FOR THE SENSES? So many things you never knew about me! Every day I have to learn a new skill, so as to continue to awe and inspire you. :)

Krista~I'll only trade up~like anything 19 or older...and on a mission...under the care and protection of The Lord, so as not to require anything but a weekly letter from me. But the Cadbury eggs sound like Heaven! I'm there!

And to my husband, it's true. You do some fine hell hurling. Good thing our hearts are knit together. Love YOU, too! :)

Neen said...

Love love love the plate!!!!!! Very nice! But Brenda, that is NOTHING as to what she can do! When we got in line for talents she pushed the rest of us out of the way so she could get all of ours! It's true, I remember!

Mimi Sue said...

Very cute tray. I'd like to see more of your house. Looks totally adorable in the background. I've already raised three daughters. You're supposed to keep the ones you get. No fair trying to get rid of them too early. She's just doing her job, teaching you oh so many things that you probably don't want to learn. By the way, can't wait to see what you'll do when she's 13...That's such a special age. I always thought I'd make big money opening a Mormon convent. What do you think?

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

I think Lisa needs to listen to Mimi...age 13 is coming sooner than she thinks...a Mormon Convent Mimi...are you up to it?
Lisa...just keep the awe coming...one day I will call you from the hospital with a broken arm!
Do you like to Shopkeep?

Lisa said...

I LOVE to shop keep...with employee discounts on antique diamond brooches, and REAL frosted cupcakes and Diet Cokes to keep me company. I'm a people person~or a stuff person if there are no people around. I'll stand outside the front door and with my mouth FULL UP WITH CUPCAKE YELL, "HEY! PEOPLE! COME IN HERE NOW! COME BUY SOME STUFF! HURRY! IT'S GOING QUICK! STUFF FOR SALE! (spitty cupcake flying into their faces) STUFF FOR SALE! MY NAME IS BRENDA AND I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HERE CLASSY SHOP! (cough, cough, spittle burp) Still want me? I come cheap?

Mimi~she's yours. You've made your case. That "special" age is just around the corner. Here I was all worried about the here and now. Never even crossed my mind what would happen in the then and later. However, I can't guarantee she'll necessarily see those years. I'm not going to be held to any standard of mothering unless things start looking up. Just sayin'.

Lisa said...

And Neen, what else could I do? You'd already gotten the beautiful skin, thin face and bedroom eyes. I myself had just been held up by my nostrils and spray painted "sensitive" so as to burn, freckle and peel for the rest of my life. I DESERVED a talent or two. And THAT, my friend, is when my true hoarding instincts were born. "GET OUT OF MY WAY! MY TALENT! MINE! YOU GOT PRETTY! BY DAMN, I'M GETTING PAINT AND WRITE!" Yup, I remember it, too.

Neen said...

You know the saying, "Beauty is fleeding, stupid is forever" or something to that effect. I think that could also read, "Beauty is fleeding, talent is forever". The beauty has faded and I'm working on the talent thing. But really you can stop hoarding anytime now! Not to mention you don't give yourself enough credit, you are BEAUTIFUL! You see things in yourself no one else does. I only see beautiful eyes, hair, legs TALENT!!! By the way, Jan loved you! Thanks for taking this on. You are amazing!