Thursday, February 4, 2010


Above pictures entitled, "Why Heavenly Father created Lisa's feet." Also, an homage to my mother's family, as her maiden name is Stewart and HELLO! STEWART PLAID HEELS! If ever there was reason to go on living, here they are.

Kind of dizzy. I had to go back to bed this morn~and just so we're clear, I didn't WANT to, but I was FORCED~for what was meant to be a quick cat nap, but turned suddenly violent as I fell off~no, strike that~somebody SHOVED ME off~a snooze cliff and into a heinous death sleep. You're nodding your blog heads, I can see. Death sleeps are brutal, as you just. can't. drag. yourself. out. of. seizing. unconsciousness. and even if the house burned down you would be found cremated but still asleep in the rubble. Usually I reserve those for Sunday afternoons after church, since it always ends with half my face on the other side of my face and smear hair. So why today? Do tell!

Two words. Third son. He had a HERCULEAN brain fart and forgot he's 13, staying out until 1:00 AM~did you get that last part?~AE FREAKING EM! this morning. And what does a 13 year old 'sniffer' DO until 1:00 AM? Well, one thing is certain~anything BUT answer his phone.

It was on silent. (ssshhhhhhhh)


I know.

So are my eyes, but you can still HEAR THE SCREAMING FURY BURNING INTO YOUR FLESH, can't you? His fanny should have been in FLAMES as those silent calls came through.

Now, to be fair, because I'm NOTHING if not sensitive to another's plight, he did have permission to be gone and he mentioned a very vague "late" in passing. His late=1:00. My late=10:00. Oil and water. Also, he was with some wonderful young men, having "one last hurrah" (I think we're up to last hurrah #649) before another boy heads out to the mission field for two years. So it's not like he donned a ski mask as he went out the door. Still.

I'm not sure which was angrier, my heart or my jaw. Neither one would calm down, and even when he arrived home safe and COMPLETELY UNAWARES of the chaos he'd caused, they wouldn't let it go. They stayed up and snarked for a good hour afterward, palpitating and clenching, talking smack on teenagers and partial frontal lobe development.

Anyway, fast forward and there was a fully repentant boy living here this morning. Funny how things come full circle.

Which reminds me of the dark circles under my eyes, which are sitting on top of each other as I type this, compliments of my death sleep. Excuse me while I play Mrs. Potato Head with my face.


JAMAL said...

Love the shoes. Lurrrrve the shoes. Must have. Soon!
Sorry about the boy. Their brains just don't work at full speed. (Even though they think so.)

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

How does someone named Jamal only type 3 sentences after reading that. I just walked in from the day, went right to your POTATOE HEAD post...and called Mr. Roses over cause I said "you have to listen up here as there is this title and a pair of plaid high heels and I have no idea where this blog post will go...holy macaroni...I could have NEVER EVER GUESSED and everyword I read laughing hysterically, almost afraid the ceiling would cave in...Carl, hold the chandaliers!

The death sleep...well...You needed it, you deserved it and I just don't know what to say right now except I am so glad i don't have a 13 year old at home anymore...oh, a bad have got a 9 year old girl...oh lisa,I'm so sorry this is just not over.

Carl just said you probably got A's on all your essays at school (I will inform you that he was and is a very nieve father)...he being serious. Me...thinking Lisa probably was one of those who wasn't always showing up to class...which one of us is right?

Good grief...this was very good for me...I had a big shot of "overspending" for the shop today. Whew, the stress is gone, thanks to you and your evening drama.

Thank you. and p.s. nice VISUAL!

Krista said...

First - Lisa - I bet you look totally hot in those shoes BAY-BEE! They are so YOU!

Second - SONS!!! They are lucky to have the opportunity to grow.

I'm not very talkative today - I just tried a new hair color and I'm in shock. Seriously.

Fat, Female and Forty said...

Fabulously awesome shoes! Love 'em!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

One line...fat, female and forty...?
Wow lisa your friends must really be use to you.

Shellie said...

OMG! The DEATH sleep is exactly the right word for it! I swear sometimes I am in a coma when I fall asleep. The whole house could burn down with me in it! I always tell my husband that if it wasn't for him getting up to feed our newborns (a long time ago) in the middle of the night they would of starved to death because I sleep right through the crying. Too funny. This is going to be my next new word. I am so glad I stopped by to brush up on my English. You are like a dictionary...except ALOT more intriguing.

Lisa said...

OK, first off Brenda~I am offended. You actually think I was a SLUFFER? Me? MOI? LISA?! Now that is just...sooooooo....correct. But I still managed to get A's in English, so you're BOTH right.

And I'm here for you and your overspending. What are BBFF's for, if not to rationalized and ease the pain of overdrawn accounts? I got your back.

Shellie~I can't believe you haven't already heard that term. I thought we were born with that knowledge. Either way, I'm glad to be your crude dictionary and will do my best to come up with even more "creative" adjectives.

Krista~You're so right. I look FREAKIN' AWESOME in these shoes. And what color is your head right now? I bet if you bought some crazy cool shoes, nobody would notice your green hair. Red? Orange? Black? Which is it?

kara elmore said...

bla bla bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaaaaa....

where did you get the shoes?