Saturday, March 20, 2010

PANIC AND DREAD

I have just figured out the most brilliant mother/wife manipulating tool in the UNIVERSE, people! Seriously magic, and oh so simple. But it only works if you are prone to use your family as blog fodder. Here's the scenario~

Kids/hubbie say/do something daft/comical and I SAY...get this..."WHERE IS THE COMPUTER?" And then I smile.

That's IT!! That's all it takes! I KNOW! STINKIN' GLORIOUS! Nothing but a seemingly benign threat, that is actually more malignant and aggressively hostile than a tumor, as they realize that their names are about to be taken in vain!!! Their reputations that they've worked so hard to align with all things cool, successful and credible~with one SWIPE AT THE KEYBOARD, it can aaaallllll be taken away.

Two little words...PUBLISH POST.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that sweet morsel with you. It's rather fun to put the fear of all that is holy, into your family, on regular occasion. Kind of gets back at them for being so~well, just for being them. And no, it doesn't make them appreciate or love you more...but panic and dread is a pretty acceptable substitute.

And sometimes a mother/wife has to find joy in the simple things.






6 comments:

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Oh I feel their pain Lisa...everyday I fear you are going to call me some kind of blog spider or something like that your mind can conjur up.
So it works...I say Keep up the good work...we never had this blogging as a tool in my day and age. It may have worked. Life would have been much easier?
Gee I just finished a little blog about my daughter then came over here. You see, it changes when they move out of the house. There is so much love and admiration.
But until then...blog threats, keep them coming at them. And I too will watch my P's and Q's around here!!!

kara Elmore said...

OO I LOVE THIS!!!! I'm SO going to use it! I do, however, use the opposite on my kids right now ... meaning - I say "If you don't SHAPE UP - I'll call Lisa and she won't let you come over OR have any treats!!!"

There. done. nice. :)

Mimi Sue said...

Brenda's right. Everything changes when the kids move out. You actually have to find something to talk about with the husband. I think this is a brilliant idea. A girls got to do what a girls got to do. Mimi

Lisa said...

Brenda, I would NEVER call you a blog spider! Maybe "blunt force Brenda," but NEVER a blog spider! :)

Boo, glad I can be of service to you! Keep using me. Happy to do it.

Mimi-I'm hoping the threat of being written about, will keep my husband on his best behavior. Diamonds falling out of the sky and onto my fingers, roses by the bushel, etc. If he wants to be 'painted' in the best light, he needs to 'behave' in the best light as well, right?

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

I just need A diamond to fall out of the sky...will take blog advice here.
You sure know how to handle your man and it seems to be working.
blunt force brenda.

Lisa said...

Ssshhhhh, Brenda. He doesn't know he's being "handled." He thinks it's his idea. And that right there is the gift of manipulation. My only blog advice for the falling diamonds is to get him to buy one HELLUVAN expensive motorcycle for himself, thereby granting you supreme reign as the queen of inducing guilt. Does Carl like motorbikes?