Tuesday, March 23, 2010

CHICKLET MARRIAGE

So, am I the only one just TICKLED LIKE ELMO about the passing of the UBER BRILLIANT health care bill? I know! Because as EVERYBODY KNOWS, our government is known the world over for efficiency, frugality and integrity. Every. Last. Worker. Program. And. Idea. And everybody also knows that the government is it's own entity, with a NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF MAGICAL MONEY, that has no source known to man, and is surely not funded by the public. Like I said, IT'S MAGICAL AND NEVER ENDING! Oh, and free. Also, one last 'everybody knows' is that this great nation was founded upon principles of care-taking and entitlement. Capitalism? American Dream? Surely you jest. Don't you mean Socialism? Communism? Monarchy? Those are the only forms of government that have been proven to build up the people. Duh. What is this Capitalist and Free Market of which you speak?

"SHE'S A WITCH! SHE'S A WITCH! DROWN HER AND SEE IF SHE FLOATS!! Oh, she didn't float. I guess she wasn't a witch after all. Hmm. Well, clear her name then. All is well that ends well."

Once we drown and murder our current health care system, we'll realize it wasn't actually the evil it was said to be. That the true evil lies in unchecked government, subsidized EVERYTHING and building a complacent, whiny, entitled welfare mentality in the people who once stood for hard working, risk taking, God, Family and Country loving principles. And then we'll clear it's name. Now let's just see if it starts breathing again on it's own.

And that right there was my first official foray into political blogging. I may touch upon religion freely and often, but politics will probably only see a day in the sun every once in a blog while. So if you don't agree with me, well, hell. I can't imagine you wouldn't agree with me. The end.

On another note, heard a great analogy by my missionary son. When speaking of the demise of a poorly planned and executed marriage between a couple of kids who had no business getting hitched, he said, "I love those two, but their marriage will last about as long as the flavor in a handful of Chicklets." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Too funny! And too true! Not that you wish for a quick end to what should be forever, but some things were never meant to take place to begin with.

Like men with perms.

Or low waisted jeans that shove out muffin top batter.

Or an entitled, welfare based, you have a right to call an ambulance for a hang nail and we're here to make sure you GET what you DESERVE, government health care bill.

'Nuff said.




8 comments:

Erica Borrowman said...

Awesome! Short, sweet (the extra, melt-in-your-mouth, give-you-cavities kinda sweet), and very to the point. It's such a relief to know that our government has the American people's best interests at heart, isn't it? (Gag, choke, cough, and then, die!) Our state should'a done what Idaho did...nullified when they had the chance. It might be worth the rain, wind, and snow just to be in a state that governs itself (ok, have to really think that over...ask me in August, would you?). Oh, and that was my favorite thing in Ash's letter...I laughed out loud. Now I will know how to categorize a doomed relationship...'chiclet flavored'. Yep. Excellent. Meanwhile, monarchy, here we come. I think we have the man for the job of King sitting right. there. in. office. Oval, to be exact. Stinky. Like rats and skunks mating in a dumpster. Love you, lady.

Linda said...

Well said. I think the flavor long left this administration.

Fat, Female and Forty said...

Ha! I totally agree with Linda. About national health care....I'm very mixed about it. I have lived in two countries and have given birth to two children under a national health care. I DON'T think employers should be in charge of whether you get quality health care or not. I think it should be available to all citizens, with the emphasis on the citizen part. I think the lawyers actually screwed up our health system with frivolous lawsuits to make people rich. And the drug companies and their extravagant whoredoms to get Dr.s to prescribe their over priced drugs. Well, that's it for my sermon. Over and out.

Krista said...

Wow, Fifi, so serious! I loved the Chicklet comment. That is a classic. Your son must have your sense of humor - aren't you proud?

Lisa said...

Krista, you slay me! You have two personalities~I quite like that idea. I might follow suit.
Erica, I consider it high praise to have you link to me on your FB. Rats and skunks mating in a dumpster. Oh, what a pretty, pretty picture! Love it!

Chicklet marriages and Chicklet administrations. Long lasting love affairs...

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Religion and politics...you do both of them so well!
a big amen!

Erica Borrowman said...

Are you kidding...it was an honor to share it. As a matter of fact, Ken Havlicek, a friend of mine, also posted it to his wall. Your hits are super impressive, my dear. We'll need to set up your fan club any day - they still have those, right? ;) Got a letter in the mail from your son, btw. Bless his heart - he's so concerned that Jordan thinks he's forgotten him. :) I love, love that boy of yours. Anyway, keep up the great blogging.

Kara Elmore said...

SOOOOO ... are you a republican??? :) And you must think that people should WORK for what they DESERVE?? WOW - imagine THAT??? A world where people have to WORK to get things.

Uhhh I could go ON and ON - but I get REALLY worked up about the stupid as***** government. I'm just PROUD to say that I'm training my kids to be REALLY angry at certain politics. :) A proud proud moment for a mother when her 6 year old says that Obama is evil.