Friday, March 12, 2010

NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD


Fun shower favors...lucky, lucky bride and attendees!


I just finished "clicking" an order to receive a darling yellow and white gingham dress in the mail. Isn't clicking wonderful? Like reindeer on a housetop...Click, click, click. Course, then there's that whole association with funds being removed from bank accounts. I imagine that sound is probably more like fingernails on a chalkboard. Or opening an ironing board. Or the sliding 50 pound increments on a medical scale. But we'll think about that tomorrow, Scarlett.

Back to vintage dresses~big giant lemon yellow and white checks! And I plan on looking EXACTLY LIKE THE TEENSY CHICK MODELING THAT THERE DRESS. Which is the only reason I bought it. If there was a chance I'd look like ME~SHEESH, no way! Don't you just love truth in advertising? What they really need is an app where you give them your waist, chest and chin measurements and the picture morphs into you wearing the dress. Course, that would mean a government bailout for the fashion industry when it does a crash and burn. It would also mean sobbing, screaming, angry Spanx hurling women rioting in the streets and...OK, yeah, now that I think about it, let's keep that anorexic size 2 as our catalogue mirror.

Speaking of well appointed and fashionable, (me) after running around higgedly-piggedly yesterday, I dropped by Bitty Boo's to pass off the shower invitations for her to mail. By the way, they were freakin' DIVINE, as she's the queen of all things photography and photoshop. THE QUEEN, I SAY! Check out her work here. Anyway, she does a quick up and down of my attire and says~

"Did you wear that just now to Hobby Lobby?"

And I said, "Yeah, I think I did."

And she said, "Oh."

Now just to put this in perspective, Kara is THE MOST EFFUSIVELY GRACIOUS AND COMPLIMENTARY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD...NAY, IN THE GALAXY!!! She can find charm in a wart. So if she says, "Oh,"...well... that's Kara speak for "WHAT IN THE HOLY ROAST WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU GOT DRESSED TODAY? WHAT ARE YOU, A VAMPIRE? AFRAID LOOKING IN A MIRROR WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL?" Followed by a silent point and mouthing the words 'Ew. Gross.'

"But I was cold." I said.

"Oh."

And then I looked down.

"Oh," I said.

And THAT is why I'm willing to bear the screeching nails across the chalkboard visual as my funds deplete, in order to look exactly like that elegant creature in the magazine. Imagine if you will, the Hobby Lobby doors parting, as I make my HOLLYWOOD ENTRANCE in retro checks and pointy red pumps to match my fluffy, pouty lips.

It comes with the size 2 figure.

See page 14 for additional features.












10 comments:

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

I'm having the same kind of day as you Lisa, only without my gracious sister's compliments on the days attire. My outfit to home depot could OUT DO your Hobby Lobby outfit anyday...oh yes, WEARING NOW as I speak. May even attempt to wear to Walmart/office max if needs be.

I having wedding veils tea dying in the bathtub...ahhh haaa, a secret just let out!

Speaking of vintage dresses...just drying the paint on a wooden hanger for hanging a romantic cream wrinkly dress, ruffly at the top with big ribbon roses. But...YOU win on the vintage dress because big yellow checked right now for the spring season is just so from the 50's I can hardly wait to see you walk into Hobby Lobby...please let me know when Your going...I will plan on being there clapping as you make your GRAND entrance. (red shoes how adorable you'll be).

Ordering...lets see I have ordered "I must have 6 of these and 6 of those and must try these" there's more: "then it's when is my order coming that was placed in Jan?" Oh by Halloween you say?
Yep...its click click click, check bank every morning, click click click. It's EXACTLY like scratching the chalkboard only funner and easier than driving the freeway at night!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

ring ring ring...Hello antique jewelry supplier, meet you at 4:15 today? Why of course, I have almost run out of money today, there's a little bit left and can I PLEASE wear my Home Depot outfit? Great...
See you then!
Just thought you might like to know.

Linda said...

I wore my Jammie shirt under my jacket, to the grocery store today. They are just lucky I had a bra on!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

No worries on the estate jewelry, she was holding out on me this time.
Will have to meet with the other one, she probably has the good stuff.

Cindy Geilmann said...

Thank you for the Belly laugh this morning. I love your green gerber daisey.

cindy@stitches

kara elmore said...

ALRIGHT EVERYONE ... simmer down!! I did not say oh .. I said OH!!!!!!!!!! And FOR THE RECORD - Lisa - my lovely sister always KNOCKS 'EM DEAD when she is out and about (however, knocking on her door randomly .. not so much). So - when I saw this giant hoodie, I questioned how her day must've gone. THEN she unzipped the hoodie to reveal, OF COURSE, a darling outfit. She was just covering it up.

What she DID NOT MENTION was that the swirl of the finger, tilted head and "did you wear this" comes from one of MY friends who lovingly asked ME if I was going to wear MY outfit out and about. I looked down. Oh. OH!

When Lisa left, I looked in the mirror and shockingly noticed that I had been in my clothes for a few days and probably smelled like barf. She was kind enough NOT to say anything to me. I'll try to be better next time. :)

Uhhh and Lisa - you KNOW I'm wearing yellow, blue and red to the shower right?? So we MUST match! BIG RED FLOWER I found last night - clipped to my white/navy polka dot cardigan. GIDDY!!!!!!!!

Lisa said...

BOO...ELEPHANT IN THE BLOG...DIDN'T YOU NOTICE THAT I FIGURED OUT HOW TO LINK?!!!!! HELLO!!!!! Are you amazed and confused? Well, I'm not. Confused, I mean. I'm brilliant, that's what I am. Figured it out aaalllll on my own. (Ster helped) And it has opened up a WHOLE NEW WORLD!

Brenda, you do tell me when you get new diamonds, right? Just making sure I'm first to know and buy.

Mimi Sue said...

I want to know where you're getting your clothes that'll turn me into a size 2! If you could please email me immediately I'd truly appreciate it! I'm with Brenda, let us know when you'll be making your debut at the hob lob and we'll be there cheering you on...Mimi

kara elmore said...

Lisa- OH I REALIZED - but I was quite afraid to bring it up. Thinking that I may GYNX it all and you'd NEVER BE ABLE TO LINK AGAIN!!!! HOWEVER .. I also noticed the post went something like this ...

Here's my amazing sister. (link)
Now - here is how RUDE my sister is. OH.

uhh huh.

:)

Brittney said...

Just found your blog and am cracking up. You're hilarious.