DISCLAIMER

Holy JUNK! Talk about a backlash! Apparently my last post was a house of mirrors and every reader saw themselves reflected as phone spiders. To which I now say, HEY, PEOPLE! I, TOO, am a phone spider. Sometimes. Just not all of the time. And I'll do better. Like when I notice I've grown a spidery leg out of my bum, that's a sign that I'm morphing and I need to put the phone down. And that's all we can expect, right? Right. So THE END. I don't want to hear another whine about it.

And now we'll title today's blog~Disclaimers and Refutation.

You know how they will put a new drug on the market, and you'll think, "Oh my cows! This is fantastic! A MIRACLE CURE! Now I can live a full and happy life as this medication is EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED to fix whatever ailed me."

But whoa, whoa, WHOA unto the chick who throws down a pill or two without reading the fine print. Which usually combines fun and exciting words like, "uncontrolled flatulence," "anal seepage" and "warty genitalia." (a new favorite of mine) Alluring words like those. Therein lies the skull and crossbones, and we'd be well taught to read those baby words to understand what we're really getting.

Thus, I feel compelled to baby word warn you regarding Blue and Shoe. Stand back.

Blue and shoe is exaggerated entertainment. More often than not, the topics are pulled out of thin air, or the author's rump. If you find yourself in the words, you might have a slight vanity issue, because almost every blog is a direct reflection of the author's life, imagination and shortcomings. It's all about her. Not you. Her. Reading Blue and Shoe has not been PROVEN to cause uncontrolled flatulence, anal seepage or warty genitalia, but this does not mean that it does NOT. It just can't be PROVEN. Blue and Shoe will bring mirth to your face if you "get" it. But angry slit eyes if you don't. Blue and Shoe has been known to profane on a consistent basis~words as well as subject matter~but as has been pointed out, it's more often than not SPELLED incorrectly, thereby negating any offense. Satire, sarcasm and heavy doses of irreverence, fat and sugar, are the main ingredients of this blog. If you're allergic to ANY ONE OF THESE, we suggest you walk away from the buffet and take an enzyme immediately. And I don't know who "we" is, as it's just "I," but whatever. We speak Borg.

That should do it. I'm having this notarized, so it's official. In fact, it may be a requirement for continued reading for you all to sign that you've read and understand this, else I SHALL NOT CONTINUE TO DISPENSE THE HUMOR, FOLKS! You'll have to go off it COLD TURKEY...and you'll be just like Kinicky from GREASE coming off a heroin high on VH1~which we all know to be remarkably high brow entertainment.

And I can almost guarantee that Kinicky has his fair share of anal seepage. I know. Ew.