NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD

Fun shower favors...lucky, lucky bride and attendees!

I just finished "clicking" an order to receive a darling yellow and white gingham dress in the mail. Isn't clicking wonderful? Like reindeer on a housetop...Click, click, click. Course, then there's that whole association with funds being removed from bank accounts. I imagine that sound is probably more like fingernails on a chalkboard. Or opening an ironing board. Or the sliding 50 pound increments on a medical scale. But we'll think about that tomorrow, Scarlett.

Back to vintage dresses~big giant lemon yellow and white checks! And I plan on looking EXACTLY LIKE THE TEENSY CHICK MODELING THAT THERE DRESS. Which is the only reason I bought it. If there was a chance I'd look like ME~SHEESH, no way! Don't you just love truth in advertising? What they really need is an app where you give them your waist, chest and chin measurements and the picture morphs into you wearing the dress. Course, that would mean a government bailout for the fashion industry when it does a crash and burn. It would also mean sobbing, screaming, angry Spanx hurling women rioting in the streets and...OK, yeah, now that I think about it, let's keep that anorexic size 2 as our catalogue mirror.

Speaking of well appointed and fashionable, (me) after running around higgedly-piggedly yesterday, I dropped by Bitty Boo's to pass off the shower invitations for her to mail. By the way, they were freakin' DIVINE, as she's the queen of all things photography and photoshop. THE QUEEN, I SAY! Check out her work here. Anyway, she does a quick up and down of my attire and says~

"Did you wear that just now to Hobby Lobby?"

And I said, "Yeah, I think I did."

And she said, "Oh."

Now just to put this in perspective, Kara is THE MOST EFFUSIVELY GRACIOUS AND COMPLIMENTARY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD...NAY, IN THE GALAXY!!! She can find charm in a wart. So if she says, "Oh,"...well... that's Kara speak for "WHAT IN THE HOLY ROAST WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU GOT DRESSED TODAY? WHAT ARE YOU, A VAMPIRE? AFRAID LOOKING IN A MIRROR WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL?" Followed by a silent point and mouthing the words 'Ew. Gross.'

"But I was cold." I said.

"Oh."

And then I looked down.

"Oh," I said.

And THAT is why I'm willing to bear the screeching nails across the chalkboard visual as my funds deplete, in order to look exactly like that elegant creature in the magazine. Imagine if you will, the Hobby Lobby doors parting, as I make my HOLLYWOOD ENTRANCE in retro checks and pointy red pumps to match my fluffy, pouty lips.

It comes with the size 2 figure.

See page 14 for additional features.