Well, if so, let me make it up to you. Go get someones nursing baby, attach it to your chest at 2:00 AM and watch the clock while you wait for the giant and necessary burp that signals the meal is over. And just like that, time stands still just for you! You can thank me later.
Soooooo, second son is now a licensed driver! Let's get tiptoin' through those tulips of JOY, friends! How to jubilize and mark this momentous occasion? Well, son celebrated by nearly cracking in half his ONE AND ONLY CAR KEY, using it to crow-bar open his fuel tank door and then called his parents in crisis mode at 10:00 PM. We parents popped open a bottle of...aspirin...and did some of the best eye-rolling and insult hurling we've done to date. I know! And here we thought our best days were over, once eldest son left home! But alas, twas not the case, as we did ourselves proud, people. Proud, I say!
Not to be left out, third boy is a source of consternation to his mother as well, as he really doesn't understand that double barrel boogers are considered an adversary when it comes to Jr. High status. This is a kid who is over six feet tall, has muscles that put him in a league of "must be self aware" and dimples and personality that take your breath away. And yet, he has an apparent aversion to any reflective surface that might tell the true tale of his nasal passages. I've tried to explain the logistics of having 99% of the student body shorter than him~as in they're forced to look UP to speak with him~to which he sniffs long, hard and violently, leading to yet another bloody nose and even less ability to articulate his consonants. Bless his congested heart.
Jules keeps insisting that when I speak to her, I'm yelling. It goes something like this:
Me~"Jules, you need to play that piano piece again, and this time count."
Her~"MOM, YOU ARE YELLING AT ME! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THAT? I WAS JUST PRACTICING PIANO AND THEN YOU HAD TO YELL AT ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS, ALWAYS DO AND THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS AND NOW I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KEEP PRACTICING! AND I EVEN LIKED THIS SONG, UNTIL YOU HAD TO YELL AT ME ABOUT COUNTING! SO WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THAT?!"
Me~nothing out loud, but mentally counting the days until she has a daughter exactly like her. Insane laughter out loud and a worried look from the girl at the piano bench.
One other thing, she just mentioned that the small splint she found in the first aid chest must have been mine when I was a child because, "You were really teeny BACK THEN. Like skin and bones when you were little. I'm serious!" She apparently saw a picture of me back in the day and finds me "wanting" now, as a middle aged mother. Well, join the club.
Anyway, what a joyful family life I lead. Here's to another hundred blogs full of all manner of hideously embarrassing stories compliments of my children and dear husband.
THREE CHEERS FOR BLOG FODDER FAMILIES!
CHEER, CHEER, CHEER and a cup of rabbit poop ice confetti!